


the love that you gave:  Outtakes and Timestamps

by Teeelsie



Series: the love that you gave 'Verse [2]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Fluff, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous!Steve, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Protective!Lou, Timestamp, Worried!Mary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-04-23 13:45:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4879141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teeelsie/pseuds/Teeelsie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Timestamp:  Danny says 'yes'

**Author's Note:**

> I have several scenes for the original fic that I drafted, but they never made it into the final story, for one reason or another. I thought I'd go ahead and post them (as I punch them up a bit) because people seemed interested, and... they're there, so what the hell... I'll also include some explanation, where pertinent, about why I didn't include a particular piece. 
> 
> And, also, a few readers asked to see certain scenes that I never really planned to write for the original fic and some of those requests sparked some ideas, so I will draft timestamps if/when they come to me and as I have time. 
> 
> This first Chapter is for KippyVee, who, after working soooo hard on those last few enormous chapters of 'the love that you gave', lamented that Steve didn't get to hear Danny call himself Steve's fiancé at the very end. I figure, this is the very least I can do to thank her. Since this is a little gift for her, I did not ask her to beta it. All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Chapters will be added as I get to them - no schedule or plan or particular order. I'll add tags as I add chapters. I feel like this is going to be an 'I feel like writing something but I don't particularly feel like torturing over it' series, so these chapters might be a little rougher than what I usually post - sorry in advance.
> 
> A/N - update:  
> This fic has grown a little more than I had originally envisioned and the timestamps sort of jump all over the place. So, for those of you who prefer a linear story (like I sometimes do), here is the list of chapters in chronological order, in case you want to read them that way.
> 
> Chapter 4 - Timestamp: Danno  
> Chapter 3 - Outtake conversation  
> Chapter 1 - Timestamp: Danny says 'yes'  
> Chapter 8 - Conversations with Mary (this chapter spans a couple years, but the last conversation comes before Chapter 5, chronologically)  
> Chapter 5 - Timestamp: January 21, 2018  
> Chapter 2 - Timestamp: September 2019  
> Chapter 6 - Timestamp: September 2023  
> Chapter 7 - Conversations with Lou (this chapter spans several years, but the last part is at the furthest point in the future.)

 

(This follows immediately after the end of ‘the love that you gave’.)

 

 

Danny abruptly excuses himself and the giant he was talking to looks confused but just turns and walks away. Danny, meanwhile, is bee-lining toward Steve, jockeying through the crowd and trying not to jostle people, but he’s completely focused on his goal and several SEALs glare at him when he bumps them as he passes. By the time Danny’s half-way there, Steve has already noticed that he is heading his way and is tracking him, eyes darting back and forth between Danny and the two guys he’s talking to. Danny can see that Steve is scanning his face, and his body is tensing, a slight look of concern creeping into his expression; he knows that Steve is wondering if everything is alright. Everything _is_ alright – it’s better than alright, actually.

 

By the time Danny works his way to the bar, he’s a bundle of nerves - jumpy and excited - but conversely, he also feels a sense of calm that he hasn’t felt in years. Steve pauses in what he’s saying as Danny takes the last couple steps toward him and he must register something on Danny’s face because he gives him a bemused smile.

 

“Hey, Danny, is everything…” Steve starts, but Danny steps between Steve and the SEALs he’s talking to and Steve stops, cocking his head in confusion.

 

 _“Askmeagain,”_ Danny says hurriedly, the words jumbled together.

 

“What…?” Steve shifts his stance. “Uh, Danny, this is…” Steve gestures with the hand that’s holding his beer to the SEALs who are at Danny’s back now.

 

Danny looks over his shoulder and spares them the briefest glance. “Yeah, hi, nice to meet you…” he mumbles quickly and dismissively and turns a penetrating gaze back to Steve.

 

“Ask me again,” he repeats a little more slowly, staring at Steve with the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

 

Steve blinks a few times, his mind not quite catching up with Danny and what’s he’s saying. “Danny… uh,” Steve bends a tiny bit and lowers his voice. “You’re being kind of rude…” he says, flicking his eyes apologetically over Danny’s shoulder to his friends.

 

Danny rolls his eyes and turns around to face Steve’s friends. “Hi. Danny Williams… nice to meet you,” he says and hastily grabs and shakes both of their hands, then turns back around to face Steve again. “Better? Can we get to this now?”

 

Steve stares at Danny, blinking owlishly. After a few seconds he starts to shift his gaze back and forth between Danny and his comrades, who look as bewildered as Steve.

 

“ _Steven!_ ” Danny barks, interrupting his slow thought process, and Steve shifts his focus back to his partner.

 

“What? Danny…?” Admittedly, he’s had a few beers and his thoughts are probably not tracking as fast as they normally would.

 

Danny reaches out and takes the beer from Steve’s hand and sets it on the bar. Steve looks at Danny and then looks at the beer and then looks back at Danny. “Ask. Me. _Again,_ ” Danny demands for the third time.

 

Steve’s full attention snaps to Danny and he stands up straight in surprise, comprehension slowly dawning.

 

Danny nods and twirls his hand in a 'hurry up' gesture. 

 

Steve visibly swallows and then blinks at Danny a few more times before half of his mouth quirks into a – _finally_ – knowing smile.

 

" _There_ you go..." Danny says, as he sees the final pieces slot into place.

 

“Danny…” Steve says a little breathlessly. “Will you…”

 

 _“YES!”_ Danny cuts him off before he can even finish.

 

The rest of Steve’s smile materializes, dazzling and exultant and Danny reaches up to grab the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him down into a searing kiss.

 

Steve breaks the kiss after just a couple of seconds. “Yes?” he asks, laughing and seeking confirmation, gripping Danny’s face in both hands and searching Danny’s eyes for the truth of it.

 

“Yeah, babe… the answer is yes,” Danny affirms, and his eyes are shining and Steve’s eyes are shining and they’re both laughing, and Steve bends in and kisses him again while Danny clutches his lapels like he’s never, ever going to let go, and everything is absolutely – _utterly_ \- perfect.

 

 

 

A/N: 

Sigh... I know...so sappy!  Can't resist these boys in love...

The reason I didn't write it into the actual story was because I really felt like that moment at the end of the original fic was Danny's moment.  He had gone through this whole emotional journey - and the moment wasn't really meant to be about him SAYING  'yes' - rather, it was about his own personal, internal realization that he had gotten to the place where he WANTED to say yes.  So, as much as I knew people really wanted to see that moment, I just couldn't bring myself to write the ending that way.  I hope this coda (of sorts) satisfies!

I will entertain other timestamp requests - so if there's something in particular you want to see, go ahead and pitch it... but, fyi, sometimes something comes to me and sometimes not, so no promises!

 

 

 


	2. Timestamp:  September, 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This timestamp is for Chymom, who requested: What happens when one of them is hurt on the job?
> 
> I felt a deep need for a little H/C, so started to bang this out, but then it sort of turned into pure, unadulterated fluff. 
> 
> No beta (which will probably be obvious) – because like I said, not torturing over these chapters (which will also probably be obvious), so I’m giving KippyVee a break and not asking her to either.

 

** Timestamp: September, 2019 **

 

Danny is lying on a treatment gurney at the hospital, nurses fluttering around him doing all the things that come along with having a patient who is unconscious and bleeding.  Danny is apparently stable and they are coming to take him for x-rays and an MRI soon, but Steve is sitting in a chair next him, his foot bouncing anxiously, waiting for Danny to wake up, so he can see his eyes… he really, really needs to see those baby blues so he can know that Danny is okay. Because Danny’s blood is all over Steve’s shirt and Steve is feeling more than just little sick at the sight of it.

 

They had been chasing a suspect on foot, Steve ten paces ahead of his partner when he had been slowed by having to dodge out of the way of a woman with a baby stroller. The split second dive to the right had tripped him up and he’d careened into some merchants’ racks on the sidewalk. Danny was sprinting by him an instant later as Steve scrambled to regain his footing. Within seconds, he had both of them in sight again and was gaining – Danny’s shorter legs never a match for Steve’s long stride.

 

A half a block later, Steve was only 20 feet behind Danny and so he had a front row seat for what happened next: as Danny raced past the entrance door to a parking garage, Steve just barely had time to register the dark Mercedes pulling out of the exit door before the left front corner of the car hit Danny - or Danny hit it – or both. The car had just started to accelerate and Danny had been running full-speed, so the impact was vicious and the crunch as his body hit metal was startlingly loud.

 

Steve watched in horror as Danny bounced hard off the car, his body forced into a spin and he crumpled to the ground, immediately still and unconscious. Steve was at his side a half-second later, their target disregarded.

 

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry. I didn’t see him…” a woman yelled, jumping out of the car.

 

“Call an ambulance!” Steve demanded as he gently touched his fingers to his partner’s neck, thankful to feel a strong pulse.

 

“He… he came out of nowhere…” the woman continued, nearly hysterical.

 

“I said _CALL AN AMBULANCE_!” Steve twisted and yelled at her, then turned back to his partner. Behind him he finally heard her frantic call to the 911 dispatcher. “Danny… hey, Danny. Can you hear me? Danny?” Steve gently cajoled in a shaky voice, skimming his hands lightly down his partner’s body, looking for obvious breaks, but careful not to move him for fear of a neck or spinal injury.

 

There was a lot of blood coming from Danny’s head – flowing down his face - and Steve tried not to panic; he knew that scalp wounds typically bled a lot and that it did not necessarily mean a severe injury. But Danny remained stubbornly unresponsive to his missives and Steve’s concern amped up as they waited for the EMTs.      

 

\-----  

 

In the end, Doctor Woo informs Steve and a finally-conscious Danny that, as the copious amount of blood portended, his partner has a concussion, and also a bruised and slightly separated shoulder and deep bruising on his hip and thigh, but nothing is broken. Woo tells them that they want to keep Danny overnight to monitor the head injury, and that they should be prepared for a lot of pain, limited mobility, and difficulty with even the smallest tasks for a few weeks. They both spend the night in the hospital, each of them fitful – for different reasons – and then Danny is released the next day with something strong for the pain, a shoulder immobilizer and a crutch to hobble with.

 

When Steve eventually gets them back to the house, he helps his partner down to the den where he has arranged for a rented medical bed since negotiating the stairs is probably going to be impossible for a couple of weeks, at least. Steve carefully deposits Danny on the bed, then goes to get some water from the kitchen so he’ll be ready when it’s time to give Danny his next round of pills. He lies down on the edge of the bed next to his partner – as close as he dares and careful not to jostle him or bump any of his bruises.

               

“Mmmm… I missed you,” Danny slurs, rolling his head to the side and gazing with goofy fondness at Steve through drugged and half-lidded eyes.  He's nearly incomprehensible from a combination of pain, pain meds and exhaustion as his body works overtime to mend itself.

 

Steve props himself up on one elbow, head resting on his hand and leans over a bit to place a gentle kiss on Danny’s forehead. “Sorry, babe, they wouldn’t let me go with you for the x-rays and MRI.”

 

Danny looks up at Steve, his eyes glassy and barely tracking.  “No… not now…” Danny says, then blinks very slowly, and Steve isn’t sure his eyes are going to open up again. “Before… last time…” he says as the blue slits finally reappear.

 

“What are you talking about, Danno? Last time, when?” Steve asks softly and with a slight note of confusion and concern. His mind is racing through his catalog of the previous times that Danny has been hurt.

 

“Meth bust… plate to the head… stitches…” Danny mumbles, his eyes closing.

 

Steve breathes out a frustrated breath. “I wasn’t there then, Danno,” Steve reminds him, vividly remembering the fury he’d felt rip through him when he saw Danny a few weeks later, sporting two new scars on his head.

 

Danny gives a little nod. “I know… ’s why I missed you… not there...”

 

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispers and closes his eyes with renewed guilt that what he’d done had led to Danny being gone from 5-0, having a new partner, putting him at risk, Steve not there to protect him...  

 

Danny either doesn’t hear him or ignores him. “Phil doesn’t have aneurysm face…” Danny mumbles and Steve can’t help but break out of his circular thoughts and laugh a little at that.

 

“No?” he huffs and kisses Danny’s head again, right below the spot now sporting new stitches.

 

Danny sighs deeply. “No… he wasn’t there, though, so… didn’t matter…”

 

Steve tenses beside him and looks down at Danny’s face. “What do you mean he wasn’t there,” his voice taking on an edge.

 

Danny shrugs. “Went home. Didn’t want his dinner to get cold...” he mumbles, words barely intelligible.

 

“What... what do you mean, Danny? Phil left you to go to the hospital alone?” Steve asks, unable to keep the agitation from his voice.

 

Danny finally opens his eyes again at Steve’s tone. “Down boy…” he slurs, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “’s okay… rookie came with me. Good kid… not the same as McGarrett though… Doesn’t have aneurysm face… missed that…” Danny sighs again. “Never thought I’d miss aneurysm face…” the last words petering out to almost nothing.

 

“Go to sleep, Danno,” Steve says, and this time kisses him lightly on the lips. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

“Promise?” Danny asks - eyes open again and one eyebrow somehow managing to curve upward - and Steve knows it’s not insecurity that makes him ask... Danny’s flirting, or approximating it the best he can in his current state, anyway.

 

“I promise,” Steve says and leans in to kiss his mouth again, this time lingering for just a second.

 

Danny closes his eyes for good and Steve watches his partner drift off, the familiar sound of deep breathing giving Steve small comfort as he seethes; he knows that Danny liked Phil Longmeier okay, but as far as Steve’s concerned, the guy is lucky he keeled over of a heart attack a year after he retired, because if he hadn’t, he’d damn well wish he had.

 

\-----

 

Jack walks out of the station, happy as hell that his day is over. He’s about to get into his car when he hears someone calling from across the parking lot.

 

“Hey! Hold up a minute!” the voice calls.

 

Jack turns toward the voice and… _holy shit_ … it’s Steve McGarrett. Jack looks around nervously, wondering what the hell the head of 5-0 could possibly want with him. “Uh, yes sir?” he answers, proud of how he _doesn’t_ sound like he’s shitting his pants right now.

 

“You’re Officer Reynolds?” the infamous cops asks as he approaches Jack’s car.

 

“Yes, sir. What can I do for you, Commander?”

 

“Good, listen…” he starts, and Reynolds squirms under his scrutiny. “So, back when you were a rookie, you were on a bust with Lieutenant Williams – he was Detective Williams then – and a meth-head cracked him in the face with a plate…”

 

Shit, _shit!_ McGarrett and Williams came out a while back and McGarrett’s notorious for having a protective streak a mile wide. Worse, everyone knows Williams had landed in the hospital a few days ago and rumor had it that McGarrett had gone on a rampage to catch the perp they’d been chasing; the guy ultimately ended up in the hospital himself.

 

“Yes, sir… I’m sorry, sir,” Reynolds rushes out. “I was brand new on the job, sir. As green as they come – and a tweaker got away from me. I’m very sorry, sir. I promise you I learned from that and nothing like that has ever happened again. Detective Williams gave me some good tips…”

 

“No, hey… relax, Reynolds," McGarret says, his hands up in a placating gesture.  "I just… I wanted to thank you.” 

 

The warmth and sincerity in McGarrett’s voice are startling. “You… What?” Reynolds asks, surprised.

 

“Look… I just found out his asshole of a partner didn’t want to go to the hospital with him that day, but I understand you volunteered. I just wanted you to know… I appreciate that.”

 

“Oh… yeah, okay…” he says, remembering being a little surprised himself – even as a rookie – that Detective Longmeier had hesitated about going with his partner to get patched up.

 

“We all need people to look out for us, right?” McGarrett says, giving him a kind smile.

 

“Yeah… yes, sir. We do, sir.”

 

“Listen, I owe you one, okay?” McGarrett say, reaching around and pulling out his wallet. “You ever need anything, you give me a call,” he says, pulling out a card and handing it to Jack, and then reaching out to grip Jack’s hand in a firm shake.

 

“Um, yes sir. Thank you, sir,” Jack answers, and he knows he's staring a little starry-eyed, but he can't help himself.

 

“Okay, look I gotta go, his highness is very demanding,” Steve grins and Reynolds grins back, because, yeah, he can picture that. “Take care, okay. And, don’t forget… you need anything, you call me,” McGarrett mimes the action of putting a phone to his ear.

 

“Yes, sir. Thank you again, sir.”

 

“No, thank you, Officer,” he says, half-turned and waving as he’s already walking away.

 

And just like that, he’s gone, and in the coming days the only thing that can convince Jack that it really happened is the small, white card that is undeniably tucked into his wallet.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, sooooo sappy! Could it BE any more sappy?????


	3. Outtake conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny talk about their pasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was an outtake scene I drafted and didn't use, where Stave and Danny are talking about their past relationships. It was sort of meant as an opportunity for Steve to be able to tell Danny about all the stuff from his past that we all learn about in Chapter 5 - about Steve's encounters with other men. This conversation would have happened after they were back together, in the last chapter.
> 
> Pretty rough... not beta'd, so if anyone sees any typos, I'm happy to have you point them out...

 

 

(Takes place at an indeterminate time somewhere in the last chapter.  Steve and Danny are sitting on the lawn, drinking beers, watching the sunset and the subject of first crushes/times/loves come up...)

 

 

“Fifteen years old. Makoa Kali'i  Blond hair, blue eyes… gorgeous.”

 

“Yeah? Did you go out with her?”

 

“Him,” Steve shoots a smiling glance at Danny.

 

“Him?” Danny gives an approving nod. “Okay – did you go out with him?”

 

“Not unless you count grinding off against each other in the locker room one time as 'going out',” Steve smirks and takes a sip of his beer.

 

“Was that your first time?”

 

Steve shrugs a little. “Such as it was. My _real_ first time was two weeks later after the Homecoming dance with Elizabeth Sweeney.”

 

“Wow, babe, you got around, huh? A bit of a player?” Danny says without thinking, and when they both realize what he’s just said, they go still.

 

“It wasn’t like that,” Steve says quietly after a moment.

 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean…” Danny offers, looking over at Steve.

 

“It’s okay… I know what you meant,” Steve says, the corners of his mouth turning up in acknowledged forgiveness. He turns back to looking at the ocean then, seemingly lost in his thoughts, while Danny continues to watch him.

 

“You know, after that time in the locker room, he wouldn’t even look at me and then when I was trying to catch his eye in the showers one day, he called me out – called me a faggot,” Steve says, finally turning his head back toward Danny.

 

“Jesus,” is all Danny can find to say.

 

“Yeah…” Steve says, a small, sad smile on his face. “Meanwhile, my dad was telling me to man up and ask a pretty girl to the dance. So I did. It took the pressure off…” he shrugs and takes a long drink from his beer.

 

“How long did you date her?”

 

“Until I left for the academies.”

 

“Then what?”

 

“Nothin much… It was hard to date at the Army-Navy Academy. And at the Naval Academy…” Steve cuts himself off suddenly.

 

“You dated Catherine,” Danny finishes for him.

 

Steve glances uneasily at Danny then down at his beer bottle, where he is picking at the label. “Yeah. Though _dated_ might be stretching it a bit.”

 

“You hooked up with her…” Danny supplies.

 

“Yeah, mostly, until…” Steve hesitates, he wants to tell Danny about all of this stuff from his life, but this conversation has suddenly become uncomfortable.

 

“Until?” Danny prompts him.

 

Steve take a deep breath. “Until our senior year. Spring break a bunch of us went to New York City… partied, picked up girls…”

 

“Most people like to go to the beach, but, okay…” Danny says giving Steve a gentle smile.

 

“Five nights in, a guy hit on me at the bar. I was flirting back, I guess, and was thinking about leaving with him, but then I looked up and saw one of my buddies watching me. I could tell he knew…” Steve squirms uncomfortably at the memory.

 

“What did you do?” Danny asks, entirely out of curiosity.

 

“What could I do? I blew him off and went back to shooting pool. But then when I left, he was there. I ended up going back to his apartment.” Steve gives Danny a hesitant look. “It ended up being my first real time with a guy.”

 

“But then there were rumors about you back at the Academy,” Danny says, remembering what Catherine had told him.

 

Steve looks at Danny with surprise. “Yeah, how did you…?”

 

“Catherine told me. She said there were rumors about you right before you graduated. She told me that you started hooking up with her more often after that – and taking her out – she was your beard, I guess, right?”

 

“No… yes… not exactly. Catherine and I did hook up before that. I guess I just made more of show of it after the rumors.” Steve looks at him. “It was terrifying Danny. I was so close to graduation and all of a sudden I could have lost it all.” Danny can see the residual fear lingering in his eyes. “Gay scandals were about the worst thing you could imagine at that place. There was no tolerance – none – if I had been dishonorably discharged… my father…” his voice catches a little and he stops.

 

Danny can see the difficulty that Steve still has with the memory – can see that something that happened so long ago can still ignite panic in him - even with his new-found self-acceptance.

 

“But, Catherine was there and eventually the rumors died down. I think she sort of knew - or suspected – she was a pretty good sport about it, though.”

 

“No, she didn’t know,” Danny tells him, shaking his head.

 

“What?” Steve jerks his head up in surprise.

 

“She told me when we talked, after… she said she thought the rumors were just that - malicious rumors. She had no idea about your leanings until she figured it out… that day.”

 

The conversation has become uncomfortable again and they sit in silence for a while.

 

“So was that it?” Danny finally asks, trying to move them away from the awkwardness.

 

“Was that what?”

 

“Was that ‘ _the extent of your gay experiences'”_? Danny says with air quote, trying to lighten things up. “I mean, I guess that must have freaked you out a little. Did that scare you straight?”

 

“I’ve always been bisexual, Danny,” Steve says, a little bit exasperated because they’ve had _that_ conversation before – more than once.

 

“I’m _kidding_ , Steven!” Danny says, rolling his eyes.

 

“There was one other time, actually,” he says, grinning a little, partly at the memory and partly because he knows this story will scandalize Danny. “I was supposed to go visit my father on leave one time and he had to cancel at the last minute, so I went to Thailand, instead. You know… to one of those places…”

 

“One of what places?” Danny asks, oblivious.

 

Steve clears his throat. “Um, there are these resorts where they… where you can get things…” Steve blushes and, embarrassed, he turns away from Danny’s inquisitive eyes.

 

“You went to a _sex_ resort?” Danny blurts out in a shocked laugh.

 

Steve just blushes more furiously.

 

“Oh my God… oh my God…” Danny laughs, but also looks at Steve with a whole new appreciation. Steve darts self-conscious glances back and forth and tries not to laugh himself. “So, how does it work at a place like that? Seriously - I’m dying to know!” Danny says, shifting in his chair to face him.

 

Steve shrugs. “Uh, it’s pretty simple. They pretty much just ask you outright what you’re interested in… I went to the bar and an hour later a guy approached me.”

 

“And then what?” Danny asks quickly, impatient to hear this story.

 

“Uh…and then we spent the week together in my cabana.”

 

Danny’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. “Holy shit! _Seriously?_ You spent a week fucking a guy you didn’t know in a cabana in Thailand?”

 

“Um… well…” Steve’s face is a shade of red Danny’s never seen before and he looks decidedly uncomfortable.

 

“Well, what? Come on, come on…” Danny’s hand spins in a circle, gesturing Steve to continue.

 

“Well… after a couple of days, he called a friend…” Steve ducks his head, not able to believe that he’s telling his boyfriend this story.

 

“He called… What… like a lifeline or something? Phone a friend… add another sex partner?” Danny grins wickedly.

 

“Something like that?” Steve risks a glance over at Danny.

 

Danny opens his mouth and Steve can imagine what he’s about to say, but then there’s a beat and Danny’s mouth snaps shut.

 

“Is that… is that something you’re interested in?” Danny finally asks, the reluctance clear in his voice, and now he’s the one picking at the label of his beer bottle. Danny’s not sure how he would feel about it if Steve wanted to bring someone else into their bed. No, check that, Danny is sure how he’d feel… not good, not good, at all.

 

“No…” Steve says quickly, reading Danny’s insecurity. “It was… I didn’t want _more_ people… I just… wanted something different, and I was too nervous to ask for it in the first place.”

 

“What are you talking about? What did you want?” Danny quirks an eyebrow up.

 

“The first guy was a native Thai…”

 

“Yeah… and you wanted…?” Danny prompts.

 

“Blond hair, blue eyes…” Steve says, giving Danny a penetrating look.

 

Danny looks dumbfounded for a second and then a huge smile cracks his face. “So, you got a type? You like the blond hair and blue eyes… that why you like me, Steven?”

 

Steve laughs. “One of many reasons, Danno, one of many…”

 

“I gotcha,” Danny nods and they both grin at each other like the idiots in love that they are.

 

“Okay, okay… what about you? Huh?” Steve says, tired of being the one on the hot seat.

 

“What about me? We’ve covered a lot of ground here… First crush? Sheila Kowalsky, first grade. First time? Kelly Flynn, sixteen years old. First Love? Rachel…” Danny takes a long drink of his beer after that one.

 

“What about your first time with a guy?”

 

Danny looks at Steve with a little bit of surprise in his expression. “Um, I rubbed one off against my partner in the kitchen and then we went to the bedroom and gave each other blow jobs.”

 

Steve eyes go wide. “That was your first time? With _me?_ ”

 

 _“Seriously?_ That terrible blow job I gave you wasn’t a clue?” Danny laughs.

 

Steve squirms a little in his chair – an obvious tell for the lie he’s about utter. “It wasn’t …”

 

“Yeah, it was. You can admit it, babe. I know how bad it was.”

 

Steve laughs. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t the best I ever had…”

 

“…not like I can compete with sex-resort workers,” Danny mutters over him.

 

“…but your technique has improved a lot!”

 

Danny flaps his hand, waving off Steve’s patronizing remarks, and reaches down to grab two more beers from the cooler. He knows he’s improved… especially since Steve nearly hyperventilated to an orgasm from Danny’s mouth just last night.

 

But when he hands a new beer over to Steve, he can see a shift in his expression and Danny can’t quite read the look.

 

“What?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows at Steve.

 

“I just… I assumed…”

 

“What?” Danny says, sincerely not sure what Steve’s getting at.

 

“Well, you seemed so much more comfortable with everything… I just assumed you had more experience than I did.”

 

“Nope. None,” Danny affirms. “There were a few guys over the years that I maybe had a little crush on, but nothing that big and it wasn’t anything I ever really needed to do anything about. I probably never would have, except you kinda got a way of getting under a guy’s skin, you know?”

 

“I do, huh?” Steve says with a smug look on his face.

 

Danny rolls his eyes. “Yeah, ya do. Come ‘ere you big idiot,” he says and reaches across the small table to pull Steve forward into a kiss.

 

“Maybe we should go inside… you can show me how you’ve been working on your technique.”

 

“Oh, no, hey, I have a better idea. Maybe instead, you can show me what your paid sex workers in Thailand taught you. How ‘bout that?”

 

Steve groans and wipes his hand down his face. “I’m never going to live that down am I?”

 

Danny grabs the two still-unopened beers and sticks them back in the cooler.  “Not in a million years, babe,” he answers with a gleeful smile and pulls Steve up from his chair.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't use this scene in the actual story because it just seemed unnecessary. I meant it when I said to a few people in comments that Danny already knows that Steve's had a hard time with issues of coming out and knowing the details and circumstances of his life's events wouldn't make the hurt go away. Also, I mentioned in comments, that in a way, I didn't think Steve could really have articulated how those events impacted him - these things all subconsciously motivated him - he wasn't necessarily aware of how the cumulative life-events were driving his behavior. Chapter 5 was really for the readers to understand Steve - it wasn't meant to be Steve's own thoughts or self-awareness. 
> 
> Also, I drafted this scene and then thought, well, this is only half of the story - the half that juxtaposed Steve's father and the pressures of the Academies isn't part of this. But if Steve tries to explain all of that, he'll just sound like he's whining or trying to make excuses, and I didn't want him to do that. He and Danny had rectified things and there was no real reason for them to get back into the whys and but-fors. 
> 
> Does all of that make sense? So basically, this scene didn't really add anything new - was just redundant information, really - and didn't further the plot of the story at all, so it seemed gratuitous to me and so I left it out of the final story.
> 
> I think I knew even when I was drafting this scene that it wouldn't end up in the fic. I drafted it early on - while I was drafting Chapter 5 - or maybe right after - but sometimes I just really need the cathartic exercise of writing something down because it makes me feel better - and in this case, I really kinda needed to feel better after writing those couple difficult chapters about Steve's past. Because I WANTED Danny to know everything - so I think I mostly just wrote this scene so that I could hear it in my head. But, it was there in my computer, so I thought I'd share it.
> 
> Oh God, I'm completely babbling now... anyway - I just wanted to try to explain why I didn't include the scene in the fic.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Timestamp:  Danno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for ElleW who asked for a timestamp of the first time Steve calls Danny, ‘Danno’ after they get back togerher. And then prodded me for an update. Super busy these days but I needed to take a break from work so I stopped and barfed this out. Not beta'd though, so, uh, probably pretty rough...

 

_ February 5, 2017_

“Hey, Dan~ ny, where, uh, where’d you put my shoes,” Steve yells from the bedroom, hoping Danny didn’t catch his near-slip.

 

“Sorry, babe, I tossed them out the back door. They stink, by the way, in case you're wondering,” comes the answer from the kitchen.

 

Okay… apparently not. Steve lets out the breath he was holding and heads for the door.

 

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

 

_ March 8, 2017 _

“Aaaahhhh! Jesus... _Fuck!_ ” Steve gasps and arches his back off the bed as Danny sucks on his cock and wickedly rubs his tongue hard against his frenulum.

 

Steve is panting hard and Danny hums and smiles with his eyes and keeps going. Steve is dizzy with his arousal – nearly 18 months is a damn long dry-spell for Steve and he’s not ashamed to admit that now that he and Danny are having regular sex, he realizes how much he’d missed it.

 

It’s not just the sex though. It’s that the sex is with _Danny_ … something he thought he’d never have again, and so far, almost six weeks into this ‘new’ relationship, Steve finds he still pretty much loses his mind every time they fuck. But it’s _not_ just the sex. It’s the fact that it’s _okay_ to be _having_ sex with Danny… that he’s not afraid that someone will find out. Before, sex was always shadowed by a deep-seated fear that caused Steve to hold back just a little. But now, the sex is… mind-blowing. He can let himself go – completely - and he does, diving deep down into that hazy place of untamed desire and need.

 

Like right now; his mind is foggy with lust and he can hardly form coherent sentences, much less censor what he’s saying.

 

“Fuck, Danny… yeah… please… just…” he knows he probably sounds ridiculous, but he cannot stop the nonsense that spills from his mouth. “Oh, God… Dan~” somehow Steve manages to abruptly cut off the word that almost tumbles out; he thinks he feels the slightest pause of Danny’s lips along his cock before they start moving again. “Danny…” Steve quickly says. “God, Danny… I…”

 

But before he can finish, his entire body jerks and he comes violently into Danny’s mouth, causing his partner to pull off quickly, choking and gagging a little.

 

“Jesus, McGarrett,” Danny says eventually, panting and wiping his mouth. “Give a guy a little warning next time.” But Danny doesn’t really sound mad, so Steve’s not worried.

 

“Sorry… sorry,” Steve says muzzily, eyes closed and vaguely trying to pat in the general direction of Danny’s head in apology. He doesn’t have much luck. Eventually he drops his hand back down on the bed and sighs with deep contentedness, his near-disastrous mistake nearly forgotten.

 

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

 

_ April 2, 2017 _

“ _Pleeeaassee,_ ” Grace wheedles as Steve walks in the door.

 

“Grace. We talked about this…”

 

“What’s up?” Steve asks as he watches Grace pull out all the stops to try to convince her father about something.

 

“Steve!” Grace lights up when she sees him and something inside Steve loosens just a little. “I’m trying to convince my dad to skip yard work and take me to the water park instead. They opened the new Plunge slide this week.”

 

“That sounds like a good plan,” Steve says, nodding his head, because almost anything would be preferable to the yard work that Danny has insisted he needs to do today.

 

“No. No it is not a good plan. I’ve got a jungle in the back yard that is not going to mow itself. If I don’t get that thing under control my landlord is going tear up my lease! I told you I needed to do that this weekend, Grace.” Danny turns and points at Steve. “And _you_ are not helping.”

 

“Danny, your landlord isn’t going to kick you out because you let your grass get a little long,” Steve laughs.

 

“Pleeeease, Danno!” Grace implores again, this time giving her father her best puppy dog face.

 

“Yeah… pleeeease, Dan~ ny,” Steve says, catching himself at the last second. He notes a quick look from is partner, but isn’t quite sure how to interpret his expression.

 

But Grace’s whining soon distracts them both and Danny eventually throws his arms in the air. “Fine! You win!” he grouses while Grace squeals and Steve grins.

 

“I don’t want to hear any complaining when we’re out on the streets next week!” Danny threatens, already heading out to the car.

 

Grace hold up her hand and Steve gives her a high-five.

 

5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0 5-0

__

_ April 18, 2017 _

“Book ‘em, Danno,” Steve says easily and without thinking, shoving the suspect toward Danny.

 

It’s the third case they’ve worked together, but the first time they’d been together when they’d actually chased and caught the suspect. They’ve worked seamlessly – again - and Steve can feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins. The buzz it gives him is extra sweet, knowing it is as much from the fact that Danny is here with him as it is from the fact that had gotten to have a little gun battle.

 

“Excuse me?” Danny asks, quirking an eyebrow up.

 

And really? Steve’s had just about enough of this. It’s been nearly three months for god’s sake, and he’s _done_ with this penance. They’ve reestablished their relationship and Steve has a _right_ to call Danny, ‘Danno’. Somehow he doesn’t feel as confident as he thinks he should.

 

“You heard what I said,” Steve answers, raising his chin defiantly.

 

“Did I?” Danny asks, and Steve thinks he sees the faintest trace of a grin trying to break free.

 

“Yeah. I said, book ‘em, Danno. You got a problem with that?” Steve challenges, suppressing his own grin.

 

Danny cocks his head. “No, actually I don’t. I like it, in fact. You should say it all the time.”

 

“Seriously?” Steve asks, standing up straight in surprise.

 

“Yeah, seriously,” Danny answers casually, a slow grin creeping onto his face.

 

“How long you been holding on to that one, huh?” Steve crosses his arms and glares at his partner.

 

Danny shrugs. “Oh, I don’t know… since about two days after we started this thing. What the hell took you so long?” Danny asks, but he doesn’t wait for the answer, turning and pulling the cuffed suspect along toward the car.

 

“What took me…? What the hell, _Danno!_ I’ve just about bitten my tongue off a dozen times trying not to say it.”

 

“I know, that was kinda funny to watch, especially that time you had your dick in my mouth,” he says casually and their suspect gapes at them. Danny glances sideways at the perp. “Hey, mind your own business!” Danny barks at him, jostling him a little harder toward the car.

 

“I didn’t even _say_ anything!” the suspect complains as Danny shoves him into the back seat of the Camaro.

 

Danny slams the door in his face but he twists sideways to gawp up at the two of them where they stand next to the car.

 

“You are a cruel man, Detective Williams,” Steve quips, but then regrets it when something dark shadows Danny’s face.

 

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… I wasn’t trying…” Danny stammers and looks away and Steve can see the guilt written there.

 

“Hey… Danny, no…” Steve interjects, lightly touching Danny’s arm. “It’s okay… we’re good,” he says, leaning forward and briefly touching his forehead against Danny’s before pulling back, because this thing they have is still new and fragile and they are both still trying to find their sea-legs, and Steve isn’t quite sure _what_ to do.

 

“Yeah?” Danny asks, still sounding unsure.

 

“Yeah,” Steve confirms.  "We're good, Danny.  Really."

 

Danny nods and then turns reluctantly to look in the back of his car before sighing deeply. “I’ll take this idiot back to HPD and start the booking. See you later?” he asks, sounding slightly more confident and easy now.

 

“Good. Yeah… later,” Steve answers and then turns to walk back to meet the rest of the team.

 

“Hey!” Danny calls after him and Steve stops and turns back.

 

“I meant it, you know?” Danny says, a twinkle in his eye.

 

Steve cocks his head slightly, not sure what Danny’s referring to.

 

“I like when you call me ‘Danno’.  You _should_ do it all the time.”

 

Steve nods and quickly turns again to walk away before he can do or say something incredibly stupid - or sentimental - he’s not sure which.

 

“Whaddaya lookin’ at?” he hears Danny yell at their suspect as he opens the driver's door of the Camaro. “Didn’t I tell you to mind your own business? … Oh, what’s that you say? Why, yes, Detective Williams, you _did_ tell me to mind my own business. I’m sorry, was I poking my nose in where it doesn’t…” the rest is cut off as the car door slams.

 

Steve grins to himself and his shoulders ease as the last of this crazy puzzle they’re piecing together finally seems to slot in place. _Danno._

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Timestamp: January 21, 2018

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Steve run into Jason and... stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was supposed to be maybe 1K of fluffy Jealous!Steve, and then – HELLO! (waves sheepishly) - porn happened… followed by 3K of angst erupting out me (ducks eyes and cringes), and then – HEY! - after 6.5k+, all better! (waving again – not quite as sheepishly) So, yeah, I have no idea where this came from, but… er… I hope you like it anyway…
> 
> And, fyi - probably more than the other chapters in this collection, you might be a little confused if you haven’t read the first fic in this ‘verse - ‘the love that you gave’ - because this chapter has a lot of references to non-canon events from that fic. 
> 
> This chapter is for Sal and mibel, who both asked for a scene where Steve finds out about Danny’s date with Jason. And also veejean45 (note about that at the end).
> 
> And, hey! I gave this one to KippyVee to fix first - Yay! Thanks for the beta, my friend! (But, of course, I tinkered a bunch after I sent it to her, so any mistakes are undoubtedly my own.)
> 
> Also - please note the rating change - there be porn ahead!

 

 

_ January 21, 2018 _

 

Jason walks into the restaurant to pick up his take-out order and immediately notices Danny Williams sitting at a table with another man; he can’t stop a smile from reflexively spreading across his face. He thinks Danny looks much the same as he remembers him, except for something indefinably more relaxed and happy than he ever recalls Danny looking. He and Danny had started an easy friendship a while back, Jason accepting (though not without some disappointment) that dating wasn’t in the cards for them, but they still got together to watch a few football games, and one memorable basketball game when Danny’s alma mater (Seton Hall), had played Jason’s (UCLA) – a fairly rare occurrence outside of the occasional March Madness duel.

 

Jason had left for a year-long research sabbatical in Baltimore the January before, and since then, they had seen each other only once – and very briefly – at his Uncle Phil’s funeral a few months earlier. Regrettably, Jason hadn’t had any extra time to get together with Danny on that trip, but in the moment they had to talk, they both agreed that they’d reconnect when he returned after the New Year. He’s been back in Hawaii for a couple of weeks and he had been thinking about reaching out to Danny one of these days soon, so he is more than happy to see the man.

 

He pays the bartender for his take-out food which was apparently still a few minutes out and is about to approach Danny’s table to say hello, but he pauses when Danny’s companion reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. After looking at it for a second he says something to Danny, who nods. The other man stands up, phone already to his ear, and walks away from the table - but not before reaching out and lightly touching Danny’s shoulder as he passes, fingers lingering just a little too long for it not to mean something.

 

Jason watches as Danny tracks his companion across the restaurant, a look of undisguised fondness on his face. And when Jason approaches the table from the bar, Danny is still too intent on watching the other man to notice him.

 

“You know, if I knew you were going to start playing for our team again, I would have called you sooner,” Jason quips, clasping Danny on his other shoulder.

 

Danny startles and turns and it takes just a half-second before he is moving to stand up, a broad smile directed at Jason. “Hey! Jason!” Danny chirps happily, reaching his hand out. Jason responds in-kind and then Danny pulls him into a one-armed bro-hug. “It’s good to see you! I didn’t know you were back!”

 

“Yeah, sorry. I’ve been meaning to get in touch. I just got back a couple of weeks ago and have been under water with getting moved back into the house and then jumping right into a full class load. I’m glad I ran into you, though!”

 

“Yeah, me too! Hey, sit down,” Danny gestures to the one of the empty chairs at the table and they both sit. “So, how was your sabbatical?”

 

“Fantastic! I finished all the research I was hoping to and got a good start on my book outline. I’m hoping to finish a first draft within the next 12 months.”

 

“Hey, that’s great. So, what, uh, what are you doing here? Would you like join us? We haven’t ordered yet.” Danny turns and cranes his neck, apparently looking for his dinner companion.

 

Jason’s gaze follows Danny, able to see the other man’s face for the first time, and he thinks there is something vaguely familiar about him. Standing off in a quiet corner still talking on the phone, he is watching the two of them with an intensity that Jason doesn’t thinks he’s seen very often, and that he finds vaguely unsettling. Jason blinks and turns back toward Danny.

 

“That’s nice of you, but, sorry, I can’t. I’m just here picking up some take-out and then I have to get back to my office. I’m still trying to sort through my files before the new semester starts tomorrow. But, seriously, Danny. Are you back in the game? If I’d known you were I would have been in touch sooner,” Jason says, his eyebrow quirked and a friendly grin on his face. He asks partly because he’s curious since Danny had been so adamant in the past that he was done with men, and partly because, if Danny _isn’t_ done with men, he isn’t entirely kidding about being interested in a shot at something more.

 

Jason watches Danny blush and rub the back of his neck sheepishly, looking toward his companion again. He hazards another glance that way as well and immediately regrets it because the man seems to be shooting daggers at him with his eyes.

 

“So, yeah, about that…” Danny huffs. “Ah, no… that’s, uh… that’s really…sweet?... of you to say, but I was never really on the market. Steve is… _was_ … my ex… which is to say, I guess, that he’s my… current... again.”

 

Jason sees a small but genuine smile tug at Danny’s lips as he looks across the room at his… current.

 

“Really?” he doesn’t try to hide the surprise in his voice.

 

“Yeah… yeah, Steve…” Danny trails off, furrowing his brow when he sees the look that the other man is shooting their way.

 

“And it’s good?” he asks and Danny turns back toward him. “I mean, the one time we talked about your ex, you kind of made it sound like it was a pretty bad break-up. I got the idea that you were maybe done with that.” He can’t stop his eyes from darting back and forth between Danny and his companion.

 

“Um…” Something uncomfortable flickers across Danny’s face.

 

“Look, I’m sorry, Danny,” Jason quickly interjects, focusing all his attention back on his friend. “I know it’s none of my business. It’s really more of a case of – I like you, and, I never said anything before, but Uncle Phil mentioned to me that you seemed a little… messed up?... for a while after you partnered with him at HPD. I _am_ your friend, Danny, and I guess I’d just hate to see you end up in the same place.”

 

Danny looks at Jason, his expression relaxing. “And you know, I appreciate that I have friends looking out for me – I really do. But, no, uh, this is good. It’s very good actually. I mean… yeah… there were …issues… before, but I’m not worried about any of them coming back again. Things are definitely different – and better – now. You don’t need to worry.”

 

“Glad to hear it,” he says, just as ‘Steve’ returns to the table and hesitates, eyeing Jason and not sitting down right away.

 

Jason stands up and Danny follows. “Hey, Steve, I want you to meet a friend of mine - Jason Longmeier - he’s Phil’s nephew. Jason, this is Steve McGarrett.”

 

Jason sticks out his hand only to have every delicate bone in it nearly crushed by the calloused grip that meets his.

 

“Steven…” he hears Danny say, quiet and low, with what sounds like affectionate exasperation, and McGarrett finally eases up and drops his hand.

 

Jason smiles a little nervously and resists the urge to shake his hand out. “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

“Likewise,” McGarrett answers, though he doesn’t really sound too much like he means it.

 

“So… McGarrett?” Jason asks, glancing at Danny as that final piece of information slots into place. “You’re the head of 5-0…” it’s not really a question, more of a dawning of understanding. If Steve is Danny’s ex, it goes a long way to explain his sudden departure from 5-0 a few years ago and his return to HPD.

 

“That’s right,” Steve answers tightly, reading something in Jason’s words, but not sure what.

 

Jason looks over toward Danny again; gone is every trace of sadness and tension that characterized the man when they’d met and spent time together over a year before. But still…

 

“So, Danny, does this mean you’re back at 5-0, then?” Jason asks, trying to sound nonchalant and not let Danny (or Steve!) hear the slight worry he actually feels for his friend.

 

“No… no, I’m still at HPD – working Homicide. Just got my Lieutenant’s bars, actually.”

 

Jason thinks he sees a strange mix of frustration and pride on Steve’s face at Danny’s remarks. “Hey, congratulations! That’s great!”

 

“Thank you,” Danny says, nodding slightly. “So, whaddaya say, Jason? Are you sure you can’t join us?” Danny asks, shooting a preemptive warning look over at McGarrett.

 

“Ah, no, thanks, Danny. I really do have to get back to my office and it actually looks like my take-out order is ready,” he says, seeing the bartender give a small wave over to him and place a plastic bag on the bar. “Hey, I’m really glad to have run into you - let’s catch up when we’ve both got more time. Steve, it was nice to meet you,” Jason says, reaching out to shake the man’s hand again – because McGarrett can try all he wants, but Jason grew up in a family of cops and he’s not particularly intimidated by their gruff demeanor.

  

As he leaves the bar, he hazards one last glance their way – just in time to see Danny rolling his eyes at something Steve is saying, but with that same fond smile on his face; Jason’s concerns crank down a couple of notches and as he pushes the door open, his thoughts shift quickly to all the things he has to do in the next couple of days.

 

xoxox

 

“Who the hell was that guy?” Steve demands, the second Jason disappears from view.

 

Danny pulls a face. “Um, that was Phil’s nephew Jason. Did I not just introduce you?”

 

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about, Danny. There was something else there… he’s not just Phil’s nephew.”

 

“Steve, let it go, would ya?” Danny sighs.

 

“Well, I guess that answers that question,” Steve says darkly.

 

“Okay, look…” Danny starts, knowing this conversation is probably unavoidable, especially if he wants to continue to be friendly with Jason – and he _does_ want to continue to be friendly with Jason.

 

Steve just stares at him with a thunderous - and very jealous - look.

 

“Okay, down boy!” Danny urges, patting his hands up and down in a placating gesture. “Listen to me. It’s nothing. He’s Phil’s nephew - we met at Phil’s retirement party. We got along, and… we met for a beer – once – that’s it!”

 

“You met…? You mean, like a date?” Steve practically chokes.

 

Danny sighs. “Yes, Steven, like a date.”

 

“You never told me you had a relationship with someone else,” Steve says stiffly.

 

“That’s because I didn’t! I said once, Steve… Once! Once does not a relationship make!”

 

“Once?”

 

“Yes… once!”

 

“Why only once?” Steve asks suspiciously, one eyebrow raised.

 

Danny takes a deep breath and holds it a second before exhaling loudly. “Look, I liked him…” Danny starts and Steve’s face goes virtually apoplectic. “…as a friend! _Jesus_ , would you relax! He’s a nice guy, we had a beer, but sitting there with him, I realized I was still hung up on you and I told him I wasn’t interested. That was the end of it.”

 

“When was this?”

 

“Ah, I don’t know… A few months before we got back together? Something like that…”

 

Their waiter walks up to the table and Steve gives him a look that sends him running, and then turns back to Danny. “That’s all there was? One date?”

 

Danny sighs and rubs his eyes with his fingers and thumb. The last thing he wants is for this to come back and haunt him later. “Okay…” he starts, and sees Steve’s face twist into something painful. “Hey, stop, babe… listen to me. I told him I wasn’t interested. He was fine with that, but we got along well and agreed that we could do that as friends, so we went for beers a few times to watch some football and college hoops. That’s all it was – we both knew there wasn’t going to be anything more to it – and they weren’t _dates_!” And then because he can’t stop himself, he adds, “Because he’s just a normal, nice guy, and I apparently prefer crazy, jealous, ninja-SEAL types, so you have nothing to worry about.”

 

Steve gives Danny his best penetrating, lie-detecting stare and after a moment he must be satisfied, because his shoulders relax and he gives Danny a small smile. “Okay, Danno.”

 

“Good. Is it okay for the waiter to come back now? – presuming he’s willing - because I’m starving and I’d like to order.”

 

“Yeah, sure. Let’s eat.”

 

There’s still something there in Steve’s voice, small and pouty, but Danny decides to be the bigger man and ignore it, hoping any lingering jealousy on Steve’s part will eventually dissipate; this conversation has seriously gone on too long already.

 

xoxox

 

Danny walks into the living room to find Steve sitting on the couch, arms crossed, distractedly staring at the television – not really seeming to be watching. Danny rolls his eyes a little and moves to sit next to Steve.

 

“If you two are _friends_ , how come I haven’t heard of him until now?” Steve demands, the suspicion having crept back into his voice.

 

“Because he’s been on sabbatical for the last year. In Baltimore.”

 

“Sabbatical?” Steve asks, sounding just the tiniest bit interested.

 

“Yes, Steven, sabbatical. He’s a History of Science and Medicine professor at the University. He was doing research at Johns Hopkins.”

 

“Huh,” Steve mumbles, and Danny can see the slightly impressed expression that Steve tries not to let bleed through and he smiles; Steve always has been a science geek. The thing is, Danny really thinks Steve and Jason would like each other if they’d give one another a chance.

 

But Steve seems to be determined to brood about this and he is staring resolutely at the television, so Danny scooches closer to him. He grabs Steve’s right arm and tugs it free in order to slip it around his torso, while he reaches his own left arm around Steve’s shoulders. Steve briefly flicks his eyes sideways at Danny but otherwise doesn’t respond, quickly flicking them back to the TV screen.

 

Okay, time to do something about this once and for all.

 

Danny leans in and huffs a hot breath on Steve’s neck and gets an immediate reaction when Steve’s breath hitches. Danny smiles and huffs there again, his right hand inching slowly toward Steve’s lap. When it finds its target Danny’s just rests his hand there, and he feels Steve shift minutely.

 

“I never wanted him,” Danny says softly in Steve’s ear and then pulls Steve’s earlobe gently into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue.

 

Steve puffs out a quick but quiet breath. “It seemed like you did,” he manages.

 

Danny’s mouth slides down Steve’s neck, spreading wet, open-mouthed kisses as he goes. “No, it didn’t, because _I_ didn’t,” Danny insists, as he presses his palm down against Steve’s cargo pants. He licks at the veins bulging on Steve’s neck, laving them and then sucking ever so lightly. A small noise escapes from the back of Steve’s throat and Danny can feel Steve’s cock stirs under his hand. He smiles.

 

“Wh… why not? He’s good looking,” Steve gasps as Danny’s tongue dives into his ear again. “He’s obviously into you-“ the last word is almost cut off when Danny gives his hardening cock a quick rub; Steve’s hips involuntarily raise up a little off the couch.

 

Danny presses harder, rubbing and grabbing at Steve’s hardening length. The feel of it makes Danny’s own cock twitch sympathetically, and he presses closer to Steve’s thigh, seeking friction.

 

“He’s a friend, Steven…” Danny says casually, his right hand deftly unbuttoning and unzipping Steve’s pants. “Never was anything more… never will be…” Danny catches Steve’s earlobe again and bites a tiny bit. Steve hisses and turns his head, trying to catch Danny’s lips, but he’s too slow and Danny has attached his mouth to Steve’s neck again, skimming his tongue and occasionally his teeth along the scratchy surface.

 

When Steve starts to pant a little, Danny pulls back enough to murmur, “I only want you,” and then licks down the length of Steve’s veins again, eliciting a sharp gasp. Danny smiles and keeps licking, leaving a wet trail in his wake, while his hand gently slips into Steve’s pants to ease his cock and balls out of the constricting material.

 

Steve’s right hand is gripping the back of Danny’s shirt and he needs to do something with his left, but when he starts to reach over to help, Danny bats it away and his fingers scrabble at the couch cushion instead. It only takes a few seconds for Danny to free Steve’s cock from its increasingly tight confines, and when he does, Steve can’t stop his hips from pushing it up into Danny’s touch. Steve groans when Danny gives his cock a few strong tugs, dropping his head back onto the couch.

 

“You like that, babe?” Danny asks rhetorically, but Steve answers anyway.

 

“Yeah… yeah, I like that…” he sounds half-gone already and Danny smiles again.

 

Danny tucks his face back into Steve’s neck, lightly peppering kisses as his hand sets up a strong stroking rhythm. Steve gasps when Danny’s thumb sweeps over the crown, slicking his fingers with the pre-come that’s starting to leak. The glide is smoother for it and Steve hisses and thrusts his hips up into Danny’s fist.

 

“Danny…” Steve mumbles dazedly and Danny finally gives in and nudges his mouth up to Steve’s. Steve turns his head and opens immediately, pushing his impatient and eager tongue into Danny’s mouth. Danny grins for just a second until he gets too focused on deepening the kiss, making it wet and sloppy.

 

They continue like that for long minutes, sinking into the kisses and Steve occasionally choking out small groans from the back of this throat. Danny knows just what Steve likes and he plays him like a finely tuned instrument. Steve’s got a few tells - he grips Danny shirt tighter, rocks his hips up and down minutely, his tongue stutters uncoordinatedly in Danny’s mouth - and each time, Danny pulls back and returns his mouth to Steve’s neck, loosening his grip and slowing his hand just a little. He waits a while until he feels Steve relax against him a fraction, and when he does, Danny returns his mouth to Steve’s, diving in deep again and working his fist harder and faster once more.

 

He takes Steve to the brink of orgasm over and over, but always backing off just enough to stop him tipping over the edge. Each time Danny breaks the kiss, Steve chases his mouth and lets out a small, uncontrolled whimper. Danny loves this… loves the way he can make Steve come apart so completely with just his hand and his mouth. Loves watching it happen. Beads of sweat are breaking out at Steve’s hairline and his breathing is coming so fast he almost sounds like he’s going to hyperventilate. When he cracks his eyes, Danny can see that his pupils are shot large and black.

 

“Ah, God, Danny!” Steve cries, pleading in his voice, his hips thrusting into nothing when Danny lets go at the last minute.

 

“You wanna come, babe?” Danny asks teasingly, fingers feathering again over Steve’s weeping dick.

 

“Jesus, yes, you’re killin’ me… _yes_ , I wanna come!” Steve virtually begs, looking at Danny with glassy eyes.

 

Danny smiles. “Yeah, okay…okay… hang on.” He gives Steve’s cock a couple more hard pulls and can feel Steve shifting again, and so he quickly ducks his head and wraps his mouth around Steve’s cock, giving one _very_ hard suck before pulling off again just in time to see Steve arch his back and thrust his hips upward, his head pushed hard back against the couch. He strokes Steve’s cock unrelentingly as thick ribbons of opaque come rocket upward, splashing onto Steve’s neck and shirt.

 

Danny watches mesmerized with his own hazy desire as Steve’s body jerks and his abs contract repeatedly through his orgasm.   Danny kind of wishes that he’d taken the time to strip Steve’s shirt off, because there’s not a more transfixing sight than Steve McGarrett’s abs when they are hard and flexing.

 

Danny stares at his hand as it slides easily up and down – Steve cock is still mostly hard and still red, but now it’s glistening with his come - and after a minute, Danny just _wants_ … and so he takes, bending down again, gently mouthing at the softening length.

 

Steve’s hand moves jerkily to rest on Danny’s head, rubbing uncoordinatedly. “Shit… Danny…” Steve says affectionately, and Danny can hear the smile in his voice. He hums a little and gives another light suck and Steve hisses and bucks his hips a fraction, before gently pushing Danny’s head away for good.

 

Danny sits up and sweeps his eyes over his partner with satisfaction: He looks completely spent and relaxed; legs splayed; arms limp; head resting on the back of the couch, eyes closed, his mouth quirking up in a tiny smile.    

 

After a few moments, Steve opens his eyes and rolls his head to the side, smiling up at Danny. “Give me a minute and I’ll return the favor?” he says, still not quite able to get his sated body to move.

 

Danny hums in agreement and then bends in to catch his partner’s mouth again in soft lingering kisses. His right hand eventually reaches down to rub his own erection through his pants because edging Steve like that has him pretty fucking hard, and soon enough he can’t stop himself from deepening the kisses again.

 

After a minute, Steve picks up on what Danny is doing and reaches over to stop his hand, rocking his head away a tiny bit to break the contact. “If you keep kissing me like that for another 10 or 15 minutes, we could maybe take this up to the shower…” he says a little breathlessly and then nods back in to nip at Danny’s mouth.

 

And, okay. If Danny’s got a kink it’s definitely for that – for when Steve turns the shower on extra hot, pushes Danny’s chest up against the wall, hands pinned up high, fingers interlaced, and fucks him, slow and steady, licking and mouthing at his neck until Danny’s come paints the dark blue tile of the shower. Just the thought of it makes Danny groan and he can feel Steve smile against his mouth as he almost-reluctantly moves his hand away from his own pants to grip the front of Steve’s shirt. He can wait 10 or 15 minutes for shower sex – hell, he waited a year and half for it, he can wait a few more minutes.

 

xoxox

 

Later, Danny stumbles into the bedroom in his boxers and t-shirt, his hair still wet but not caring one whit what it’s going to look like in the morning – he can always shower again. Smiling and exhausted, he tumbles onto the bed next to Steve, who is lying with his hands interlaced behind his head, staring at the ceiling, looking... contemplative?

 

Danny props himself up on one elbow and looks at his partner. “Hey, seriously, babe. Are you still thinking about Jason? Because, you do _not_ need to worry about this. Not one iota. I swear. I was completely serious when I said that he was – _is_ – just a friend.” Danny adds the emphasis because he wants to be very clear that he has no intention of giving up his friendship with Jason just because Steve has an issue with jealously.

 

Steve continues to stare at the ceiling. “Catherine was just a friend,” he says softly, not able to bring himself to look at Danny’s face.

 

There is a tension-filled silence for a moment and then Danny rolls over onto his back. “New relationship,” he says tersely, reminding Steve of their agreement not to discuss what happened in their ‘past’ relationship.

 

Steve sighs and continues to stare at the ceiling. “I know Danny, but...”

 

Danny closes his eyes for a second trying to let go of the sudden flare of anger he feels inside of him, then gets control and rolls onto his side again to lay a hand on Steve’s chest. “Babe. Look at me… please.”

 

Steve slides an uncomfortable glance over to meet Danny’s. “Please. Steve. I need you to trust me and to believe me when I tell you that I honestly and truly never had any interest in Jason, except as a friend. There are no parallels to you and Catherine here. I never had a relationship with Jason; we never slept together; I have no interest in _ever_ sleeping with him.”

 

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did. He’s good looking. Seems like a nice guy, too,” his mouth twists into an uncomfortable expression as he makes the admission.

 

“Those two things are both true,” Danny acknowledges. “But trust me when I say that beyond that, there’s no chemistry there. I’m just _not interested_ , Steve. You have no reason to be jealous or concerned.”  

 

Steve hums noncommittally and doesn’t say anything for a few moments. “Were you jealous of Catherine?” he asks eventually, catching Danny by surprise.

 

“Uh… not…” Danny starts and then stops, sitting up and squaring himself to Steve. “Do you really want to talk about this?” he asks, very much on edge.

 

“We never really cleared the air…”

 

Danny rubs his eyes, scrunching up his face and digging his fingers in hard. “Didn’t we? I seem to remember a long night spent sitting on the floor of a crappy hotel room clearing a lot of air while my ass fell asleep.”

 

“That wasn’t really…” Steve cuts himself off, looking uncomfortably at Danny. He’s never really been able to classify what that night was.

 

“Yeah, I know,” Danny concedes, scrubbing his hand down his face and looking away.

 

Steve finally sits up and faces Danny. “So, were you? Jealous of Catherine?” he presses.

 

Danny sighs. “Yeah. I guess I was,” he admits, looking uneasily back at Steve again. “I mean, for the first 4 or 5 years I knew you, when the two of you were together and I was pining from afar…” Danny adds, and a half-smile/half-grimace flickers across his face. “Every time the two of you walked away together I was jealous as hell,” he confesses.

 

Steve watches him closely with a slightly regretful expression.

 

Danny pauses and takes a deep breath. “But, after we got together, no,” he shakes his head firmly. “No, I wasn’t jealous of Catherine then. Honestly, I thought she knew about us and…”

 

“And?” Steve urges him to continue.

 

“Steve…” Danny says, a slight note of foreboding in his voice.

 

“Say it, Danny. You can say it.”

 

“Why do you want to do this?” Danny snaps impatiently. “We put this to rest a year ago.”

 

“ _Say it_ , Danny,” Steve presses relentlessly.

 

Anger spikes in Danny. “And I never thought either you or Catherine would do something like that to me,” Danny bites out. “ _There_ \- are you satisfied? I feel great now, how ‘bout you?” he almost yells and then pushes off the bed and walks out of the room without looking back.

 

Steve stares after him for a moment before dropping back down onto the bed with a frustrated noise, not entirely sure why he just forced this confrontation. Distantly, he hears the refrigerator open and close and then hears the same of the back door. Instead of following, he lies still, glowering at the ceiling, trying to straighten out his thoughts, and giving Danny some time to cool off.

 

A half hour later, he makes his way out to the yard and sits down in the empty chair next to his partner, noting the empty beer bottle on the table and the nearly full one in his hand. Danny tips the bottle up to his mouth and doesn’t look over toward him. Steve doesn’t say anything, turning to watch the waves as well and the silence drapes over them oppressively.

 

A few minutes later, Danny huffs out a frustrated breath. “Is this you freaking out about commitment again? Because it seemed like things were good and you were over all of that bullshit, but honest to God, Steve, if we’re back to…” Danny stops and sucks in a deep, shaky breath. “I can’t do it again…” he says quietly, shaking his head; his words are etched with fear and sadness and anger and all the things that Steve never wanted to put on Danny ever again.

 

“NO! No, Danny. It’s not that – it’s the opposite of that. I’m not… I’m not freaking out about any of that... about us. I’m fine with all of that. We’re good.”

 

Danny finally turns and pins a hard look at him. “Are we good? ‘Cause I don’t understand what the hell is this about and you’re kind of making me nervous here.”

 

Steve reaches across to grab Danny’s beer, taking a long drink before handing it back. He looks at his partner and steels himself for Danny’s reaction to what he’s about to say. He closes his eyes for a couple of seconds and then opens them. “I miss Catherine,” he says before his courage can elude him.

 

Danny’s mind fills with a rush of static and something twists tight in his chest; he blinks and turns his face back toward the water. “Oh,” he finally manages in response, the one small word coming out small and strangled.

 

“ _Not like that_ ,” Steve rushes out. “I don’t want… I don’t want… _her_. I just… We were friends before we were anything else, and after, too. For 20 years. Seeing you with that guy – how comfortable and easy you are with each other – how obvious it is that you like each other,” Steve stops, his eyes searching Danny’s profile for reaction but his partner’s face is blank. “It made me think of what I had with Cath. I guess I miss… I miss our friendship,” Steve says as he rests his head back and closes his eyes, overcome with a sense of selfish guilt for starting this whole miserable conversation. “I’m sorry, Danny.”

 

Danny turns and watches Steve for a moment and then looks back out at the ocean again. The static in his head has decreased to a low hum, but… but, he’s still reeling and wondering how the hell a night that started off so well has gone so completely off track.

 

“Have you talked to her since…?” Danny asks after long minutes of silence.

 

Steve shakes his head. “The last thing she said to me was, ‘you’re an ass,’ before she took off. I haven’t seen or heard from her since. Not that I expected to,” he adds, resigned.

 

“Have you thought about calling her?” Danny asks – just a frank question with no indication of anything else behind it.

 

“What? No! I wouldn’t do that, Danny!”

 

“Why not?”

 

Steve looks at Danny with wide eyes. “Because… she… you… Wouldn’t that bother you?”

 

Danny shrugs and takes a sip of his beer, looking at the water and not Steve.

 

“Danny?” he asks, searchingly.  

 

Danny ducks his head down and shakes it a little, and Steve can swear he’s muttering to himself. After a minute he shakes his head more forcefully and looks back over at Steve.

 

“Okay, look. There is a part of me, yes, that might be freaking out just a little bit at the idea.” Steve nods his head in understanding. “But, the rational part of me – and don’t you dare say anything there because, _yes_ , I can be rational – that part of me _trusts_ you _. And_ trusts Catherine.”

 

“You…” Steve blurts in quick surprise, but Danny puts up a hand to stop him and Steve snaps his mouth shut.

 

“I think I have a pretty clear understanding of why and how things happened with the two of you. The universe clearly has it out for me because if that wasn’t the biggest fucking clusterfuck of a confluence of events that ever could have happened, I don’t know what is. But the bottom line is that I know there is zero chance that those event are never going to recur. And… and I don’t think either of the two of you are the kind of people who would do… what you did… which I know sounds ridiculous because you _did_ do what you did… but I _don’t_ really worry that you’ll ever do it again because I know you… even though I thought I knew you before… but I guess I really did and you just made a really big, huge – and I mean _huge_ , big - fucking mistake, that I don’t honestly worry about you ever making again, and… and this is making no sense…” Danny bangs his head back against his chair and lets out a frustrated growl.

 

But before he can stumble on to his next thought, he jerks his head up again when Steve appears in his sightline, kneeling between Danny’s legs and reaching up to grasp Danny’s face between his hands. Danny can hardly blink before Steve’s mouth is on his, open and plush and wet and searching.

 

Danny lets out a small grunt of surprise but quickly opens his mouth and melts into the kiss, reaching up to wrap his arms tightly around Steve’s neck.

 

When Steve finally pulls away slightly, still holding Danny’s face in his palms, he tips their foreheads together. “Danny…” he breathes out, sounding completely wrecked.

 

Danny has absolutely no idea what is going on, so for once – and completely against his instincts - he decides to just keep his mouth shut.

 

“Danny…” Steve says again, this time pulling back far enough that he can look probingly into Danny’s eyes. “I… do you mean that?” he asks, his voice choked with emotion and sounding almost desperate.

 

“Mean what, exactly?” Danny asks, his voice raspy and he clears his throat.

 

“That you trust me?” Steve answers, still searching Danny’s face.

 

“Wha… _What?_ ” Danny asks with surprise. “Yeah, _of course_ I do. I wouldn’t be here with you if I didn’t. Did you… did you think I don’t _trust_ you?”

 

“I thought… I don’t know. I guess I just thought that since you said you couldn’t forgive me, you couldn’t really trust me either.”

 

Danny sucks in a deep breath and stands abruptly, jostling Steve to the side. He strides quickly down to the beach and it looks like he’s going to keep walking right out into the ocean, but he stops just as suddenly, a step short of the water, and stands motionless, hands jammed in his pockets. Steve scrambles to his feet, but stays by the chairs, watching Danny nervously. The silent seconds stretch on and soon Steve breaks into a cold sweat, his skin starting to crawl with anxiety.  

 

After what feels like an eternity, Steve creeps toward his partner but stops a couple of feet away. “Danny?” he murmurs, his voice rough and tentative.

 

Danny drops his head down between his shoulders and Steve is completely lost as to what to do, so he just continues to stand quietly and wait for Danny to make the next move.

 

After a few more minutes, Danny finally turns to face him and Steve can see – even in the dim moonlight - that silent tears have been slipping down his cheeks.

 

“I’m sorry,” Danny says, almost choking on the words.

 

“What… what for?” Steve asks, fear blanketing over him. He has no idea what Danny is thinking, or what he is sorry for, but this feels like a break-up if he ever heard one.

 

“For… for leaving things... It was stupid… We should have talked about this…” Danny explains, looking down at the sand and shaking his head.

 

“Danny… I don’t…” Steve shakes his head in mirrored confusion. “What are you saying?” he asks, sounding slightly panicked and ducking his head to try to see Danny’s eyes.

 

Danny finally lifts his head and looks at him. “I’m saying… I’m saying, I forgive you,” he says gently.

 

“Danny?” Steve whispers, unable to get any power behind his word.

 

“I forgive you, babe,” Danny says again. “I don’t think I realized it until just now, but… yeah, I forgive you. And I’m sorry that you spent all this time thinking that I don’t trust you, because I do. I trust you in every way imaginable, so just… yeah…”

 

“Will you marry me?” Steve asks, practically a reflex now.

 

Danny barks out a sharp, but genuinely amused laugh. “No… no, but I’ll tell you what. If you ask me now to move back in here with you, I’ll say yes to that.”

 

“Move in with me,” Steve says immediately.

 

“Okay,” Danny says, smiling broadly.

 

“Okay,” Steve smiles back and pulls Danny into an embrace.

 

They stand there quietly for a few minutes, gripping each other with something happy and new… and whole.

 

“Jesus… some night, huh?” Danny says eventually, his words muffled by Steve’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah… some night…” Steve agrees and bends down to kiss Danny again.

 

 

_ One week later: _

“This is Lieutenant Rollins,” the voice says when the call connects.

 

“Hi, Catherine? It’s Steve - please don’t hang up! I’d like… I’d really like to talk to you.”

 

There’s silence on the other end of the line, but she doesn’t hang up, so Steve takes that as a good sign and forges on.

 

“Listen, I know this is long overdue, but… I’m calling to apologize…”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no actual explanation for this chapter; I never even THOUGHT about writing Danny forgiving Steve, because it’s honestly hard for me, personally, to see how you could get to that place with someone in a situation like this - I really wasn’t sure I would have been able to really forgive, if I’d been in Danny’s shoes, which is why I didn’t write that into the first fic. But maybe there’s hope for my soul yet, because when I sat down and wrote this, the words just… came out, and I really felt like, yeah, Danny DOES forgive Steve. Felt kinda good. : ) 
> 
> So, like I said earlier, this chapter is also for veejean45 - who wanted to see Steve reach out to Catherine to apologize properly - but I didn't want to say that up front cuz I thought it might be too spoiler-y. Sorry you didn’t get the whole conversation. I tried, but in the end, it just wasn't working for me, and I thought, no, it just felt more ‘right’ to leave it where I did… I will let you readers fill in the gap with your own imaginations!


	6. Timestamp:  September, 2023

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny makes a change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for BookMeDanno and saraflo who asked for this timestamp.
> 
> Christmas is always kind of a lazy day around our house so I had some free time and an idea came to me after some back and forth with BookMeDanno about this 'verse, so I banged this out - but I'm sure this is really rough because - yeah, I banged it out in maybe 45 minutes, and... no beta (it's Christmas! - I was not going to bug KippyVee). I'll probably go back and clean it up later, but if you see anything glaring, I'm happy to have you let me know.
> 
> Merry Christmas! : )

 

 

 _ September, 2023 _

 

Danny doesn’t know why he’s nervous. It’s ridiculous that he’s nervous – they’d been talking about his for years. Nonetheless, he had snapped at Steve three times that morning until his husband had enough and finally snapped back, giving him a curt ‘see you later’ before leaving in his truck.

 

Danny silently berated himself for driving Steve away and slumped down over his cup of coffee at the kitchen counter, trying to reign in his emotions.

 

This was a good thing. Three years ago, Grace had surprised the hell out of all of them when she announced that she was going to Danny’s alma mater for college. Everyone had assumed she’d choose one of the west coast schools she’d been accepted to, but Seton Hall had offered her a virtual free-ride – not because she was a legacy student, but because she was a smart female, pursuing math and engineering as her major. Thank God she inherited Rachel’s abilities in that area.

 

Grace is just starting her last year in college, and she’s been accepted into an apprenticeship for her final year that means a guaranteed job - a good job- when she finishes her degree in the spring. Danny hasn’t had to touch a penny of the money he scrimped and scraped to save to help pay for her college education, and now it is tucked snuggly in a sizable wedding fund. There's enough there that if Grace doesn't go too over the top on her wedding (which God-willing, will not be for several more years!), there will be some left over to maybe help her with a down-payment on a house or something.

 

So there really is no reason to wait anymore; Grace’s future is secure.

 

Danny takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. _Okay_ , he thinks. _Okay… this is good, it feels right_. He smiles and nods a little to himself and stands up straight, slugs back the last of his coffee, grabs his keys and heads out the door.

 

50505050

 

“Good morning, Captain Williams. You can go right in, the Chief is expecting you,” the Chief’s administrative assistant tells him.

 

“Thanks, Marie,” Danny answers as he opens the door, surprised that the nerves he’d been experiencing earlier seemed to be gone.

 

“WIlliams,” the Chief acknowledges as Danny steps into the room and closes the door behind him.

 

“Sir,” Danny responds politely.

 

“What can I do for you?”

 

Danny hands the Chief an envelope without comment and sits down in the chair across the desk from him.

 

The Chief gives him a questioning look and then opens the envelope, pulls out the single page and starts reading. A few seconds later, his eyebrows shoot up and he gives Danny a startled look.

 

“Is there a problem I don’t know about, Captain?” he asks, concern in his voice.

 

“Not at all, Sir. It’s just time.”

 

“Anything I can do to change your mind?”

 

“No, Sir,” Danny shakes his head slowly. “I don’t think so.”

 

“It’s been a long time, are you sure it’ll still work?” he raises an eyebrow questioningly.

 

Danny takes a deep breath and considers that for a moment. “I guess I won’t know for sure until I try, but, I think it’s time for me to find out.”

 

“Well. I won’t pretend I’m not disappointed.”

 

“That’s kind of you to say, Sir. And I’d like to say that I appreciate the confidence you’ve shown in me the last few years.”

 

“I guess I’ll need to find a new liaison,” he sighs, dropping the letter down onto his desk.

 

“About that, Sir...”

 

“Yes?” the Chief looks up with interest. “You have someone in mind?”

 

“You might consider Detective Reynolds, Sir. I’ve known him since his first week on the job and he’s a good cop,” Danny doesn’t even realize he’s unconsciously rubbing at the scar on his forehead. “He’s worked well with me and the Task Force on a number of occasions.”

 

“I’ll give that serious consideration,” the Chief nods his head. “Thank you.”  

 

“Okay, so…” Danny stands to leave.

 

The Chief stands too and reaches across his desk to shake Danny’s hand. “It’s been a pleasure working with you, Williams.”

 

“Thank you, Sir. The feeling's mutual,” Danny answers, shaking the Chief’s hand, then turns to leave.

 

“Oh, and Captain...” the Chief stops him as he opens the door.

 

“Sir?” Danny answers, pausing with his hand on the doorknob.

 

“Tell your husband he owes me one for stealing you back. A really, fucking _big_ one,” the Chief says with a grin.

 

Danny snorts and nods and quietly shuts the door behind him.

 

5050505050

 

The bullpen is quiet when Danny walks in, but he’s seen Steve’s truck in the parking lot, so he knows he must be around somewhere. Sure enough, Danny glimpses him through the half-closed shades on his office window. He’s pretty absorbed in whatever he’s reading, so Danny is able to ease over to the open door without Steve realizing he’s there. He leans in the doorway for a few seconds and states at his husband; he still get a few butterflies in his stomach over Steve, even after all these years. His hair is more salt than pepper now, but he’s still incredibly fit and still gorgeous. Sometimes he still can’t quite believe that everything actually worked out between the two of them.

 

Danny has a sudden moment of déjà vu, remembering that day years ago when he had fought all of his demons and insecurities and had come here to maybe take the first step toward reconciling with Steve.

 

As if on cue, Steve looks up from his desk and a bright smile blooms across his face. “Danno! What’re you doing here? Does HPD have a case?” He seems genuinely happy to see Danny, despite how difficult Danny had been earlier this morning at home.

 

Danny straightens up and clears his throat. “No, I uh… I needed to bring this over,” he answers, handing a slim envelope to Steve.

 

“What is it?” Steve asks, already opening it and pulling the letter out.

 

“It’s a copy of a letter I gave the Chief this morning…” Danny answers, but Steve is already scanning the page.

 

When he finishes, he looks up disbelieving. “ _You’re coming back?”_ he breathes out.

 

Danny is floored by the hope he can head in Steve’s voice. They’ve talked about his for years; Steve asking but Danny always deferring until he knew Grace’s future would be secure. He knew, of course, that Steve wanted him back at 5-0, but until this moment, when he heard it in Steve’s voice, he had no idea what it really meant to him.

 

Danny’s words feel stuck and he has to clear his throat. “Um… yeah. If you’ll have me,” he says, laughing self-deprecatingly, but the words come out rough.

 

Steve is immediately standing and within a second he has his arms wrapped around Danny and he’s squeezing tight. “ _Jesus!_ Of _course_ we’ll have you!”

 

“Good,” Danny says, his words muffled by Steve’s shoulder. “Because I sincerely do not want to have to go groveling to HPD to ask for my job back _again_.”

 

Steve huffs and squeezes Danny tighter, and Danny’s not 100% sure what’s going on here, but he could almost swear that he hears Steve sniff a little. They are both saved the embarrassment of finding out though, when Kono and Chin walk into the bullpen and see them there.

 

“Hey! What’s this! PDA on the job?” Kono laughs.

 

And it’s true. They don’t do this – they never have. From the very beginning, they have always kept their professional life strictly professional. Sure, they’ll give each other a ‘bro-hug’ in the right situation – like they would Kono or Chin or Lou. And though Steve has long since gotten over his reluctance to show Danny affection in public, neither of them have ever been inclined to get personal while on the job. Danny can count on one hand the number of times he and Steve have kissed at work, and those have generally been extraordinary circumstances and no one else was ever there to witness it.

 

“Danny’s coming back to Five-0!” Steve announces brightly, releasing him from the full embrace but keeping one arm snugly around his shoulders.

 

“Hey, Danny, that’s great!” Chin says.

 

“It’s about time!” Kono declares, pulling Danny away from Steve and into her own hug. “Are you starting today?” she asks when she finally pulls away.

 

“Ah, no,” Danny tells her. “I gave the Chief my two-weeks notice this morning.”

 

“Well _, alright_ , brah. It’ll be great to have you back here full-time,” Chin says, reaching over to shake Danny’s hand and then pulling him into a quick, one-armed embrace.

 

“Thanks,” Danny barely has time to say, before Steve is pulling him into a full embrace again.

 

Steve gives Danny a not-so-furtive kiss on the side of his head, but Danny is the only one to hear when he whispers quietly, “Welcome home, Danno.”

 

Yeah, it was stupid for him to be nervous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that we know now that Danny went to Seton Hall!


	7. Conversations with Lou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times Lou was worried about Danny and one time he wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the comments for a different fic I wrote, Ashli said something about one of Lou's lines in the story and it made me think about how I'd been wanting to do something more with Lou sometime, since he seems to get very little play in my fic. I kind of like writing him, though, so, here, have some protective!Lou. 
> 
> Also, this fic references specific scenes in part 1 of this verse, or scenes from earlier chapters in this fic. I will put the specific fic/chapter references in the end notes as an fyi.
> 
> Thanks goes to KippyVee for the beta work!

 

 

 

_1: Saturday, October 3, 2015_

   

“Thanks,” Danny says to Lou after they’ve demolished the mountain of food that they had thrown together after moving Danny into his new house.

   

“Yeah, you better thank me,” Lou growls. “I think I wrecked my back hauling that ugly-ass chair of yours today.”

   

“That’s uh, that’s not what I meant.”

   

Lou raises a questioning eyebrow at him. “What _did_ you mean?”

   

“I meant… thanks for not saying ‘I told you so’.”

  

Lou eyes Danny for a moment before finally responding. “You know… when I said I didn’t think it was a good idea to mix work and relationships, I wasn’t hoping to be proven right.”

   

“Okay.”

  

“Seriously, Danny. This is exactly what I was hoping _wouldn’t_ happen.”

 

“You were right though,” Danny says, sounding every bit as dispirited as he looks.

  

“Well, even if I wanted to, I don’t need to say it; you’re good at beating yourself up all on your own,” Lou tells him and Danny looks away and across the lawn at Grace.

   

“You gonna tell us what happened?” Lou asks into the silence after a minute.

   

“Nope,” Danny answers, and there’s clearly no room for negotiation there.

   

Lou gives him a cool look and then shakes his head and peers around the yard at the gathered group. A moment later he cocks his head back at Danny. “Look… you know that if there’s anything we can do... Anything at all…”

   

Danny turns and gives him a sad smile. “Sure, Lou.”

 

Lou turns to fully face Danny, indignant. “Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

   

“Nothing,” Danny sighs, looking away again.

   

“Bullshit – you meant something by that, so how about you explain it.”

 

Danny shrugs, trying to act like it’s no big deal. “I’m odd man out now.”

   

“And what? You think we’re just going to disappear? Like we’re choosing sides?”

  

“Listen to me. I’ve been here before and I know how it works, okay?” Danny tells him without resentment. “Two people split up, the friends have to make a choice,” he shrugs. “You’ll be seeing Steve every day and working with him. I’ll be… not around. It’s fine. I understand…”

   

“What? What do you understand? You think we’re such assholes that we’re just going to disappear on you?”

   

“No, I…” Danny stammers, on unsure footing. “I’m just saying I wouldn’t expect - ”

 

“What _I_ expect,” Lou cuts him off, “is to see your sorry ass at my house for dinner at least once every two weeks,” he pokes Danny in the chest. “You got that?” Lou finishes and then abruptly walks away, muttering furiously under his breath. After a few steps he turns back for a second. “Next Wednesday, 6:30. Don’t be late. Renee _hates_ it when people are late!”

   

“Uh… okay,” Danny says weakly, but something tight in his chest loosens a fraction.

   

“And bring some wine!” Lou calls over his shoulder without turning around.

   

 

_2: June 20, 2016_

 

Danny looks out his window for the fourth time in 15 minutes and – yep - the car is still parked in front of his house, so he finally pulls out his phone and hits 6 on his speed dial.

   

“So, are you gonna sit out there at my curb all night, or you wanna come in and have a beer?” Danny asks. He hears a heavy sigh in response and the call disconnects, but when he looks out again, he sees Lou walking slowly up to the door.

 

Danny opens it before Lou can knock. “Something on your mind?” he asks.

   

“I think you know what,” Lou answers tiredly.

   

He does know. Kono left not more than an hour ago after chewing him out for not telling the rest of them about what Steve had done, and then feeding Danny Chinese takeout. He genuinely does not want a replay of that conversation, but after a short pause he steps to the side and opens the door wider to let his former teammate in anyway, mostly because he’s not quite that much of an asshole to shut the door in his friend’s face.

   

Danny doesn’t wait for him to come in before he’s headed for the kitchen and taking two beers out of the refrigerator, handing one to Lou as he takes a position across the kitchen island.

 

“You okay?” Danny asks Lou, who hasn’t quite managed to look him in the eyes yet.

   

That gets him though. “Am _I_ okay? Shouldn’t I be asking _you_ that?” Lou says, looking at Danny incredulously.

  

Danny shrugs. “I’ve had the last nine months to get used to the idea.” He takes a deep pull off his bottle, watching Lou with interest as he does.

   

Lou is still staring at him and not drinking his beer. “I just…” he starts and stops. “I… why didn’t you _tell_ us, man?” he asks, sounding tormented.

   

Danny sighs and puts down his beer bottle, leaning his elbows on the counter and scrubbing his face with his hands. “What would be the point?” Danny answers, sounding every bit as weary as he feels.

   

“What would be the _point?”_ Lou echoes. “The point would be we’re your friends, Danny. If you had told us what had happened we could’ve… I don’t know… we could have _been_ there for you,” Lou says, his words filled with regret.

   

“What are you talking about, Lou? You _were_ there for me,” Danny tells him gently, giving his friend a tired, but genuine smile.

   

“Yeah, but not…”

   

“Lou, you _were_. And, you know, I gotta tell ya, I think it meant more to me to know that you were there without you knowing why, than if you’d known and were just there because you were pissed at Steve.”

   

Lou doesn’t say anything.

   

“Besides, I was tearing myself apart thinking about it,” Danny continues. ”The last thing I wanted was to talk about it all over again with the rest of you.”

   

“Jesus, Danny,” Lou shakes his head. “That’s a hell of a burden to carry alone.”

  

Danny gives a half-shrug. “ _My_ burden,” he says, and take another sip of his beer.

   

Lou stares at him for a minute, taking that in. “Okay, man. I get it, I get it,” he concedes, shaking his head, but when he looks at Danny, anger clouds his face. “But I gotta tell you; I _am_ furious at Steve.”

  

Danny looks down at his beer bottle as he twirls it on the counter and doesn’t say anything.

   

“What…? Aren’t _you?”_ he asks incredulously.

   

Danny looks up at that. “Oh, I was pissed… _hell yeah_ , I was pissed. I guess the anger’s… lost some of its edge though. Now it’s just more like a constant, dull nausea,” Danny tries to quirk a smile but it morphs into more of a grimace.

   

Lou huffs a little at that.

   

“What’re you gonna do?” Danny asks, standing back up straight and looking cautiously at Lou.

   

“I honestly don’t know. After everything that happened with Clay, I gotta tell ya, I’m struggling with this.”

   

Danny nods and ponders that a little, twirling his beer bottle around some more on the counter. When he looks at Lou again, his face is resolute. “You know… 5-0 is a good thing. You do good work - important work. You’re part of the team,” Danny is watching Lou but he looks unmoved, so he takes out the big guns. “My daughter is safer with you out there doing your job.”

   

Lou’s face scrunches up in indignation. “Seriously, Williams? You’re gonna throw your _daughter_ at me?”

  

Danny smiles. “Hey, I coulda said Samantha.”

 

Lou doesn’t look 100% convinced, but he’s trying to hide a small smile when he tips his bottle up and takes his first sip of beer. “I’ll get outta your hair,” he says, setting the bottle back down and heading out.

   

Danny follows after him and stops him with a hand to the arm as he gets to the door. “Lemme ask you something.”

   

“Yeah?”

   

“You think Steve’s a good cop?” Danny asks him sincerely.

   

“You know I do.”

   

“Then don’t do anything impulsive… and think about that.”

  

Lou stares at him for a moment, and then blinks, and then turns to go with a grunt and a wave of his hand.

  

  

_3: March 6, 2017_

 

 Danny walks into the bullpen and looks around. “Where is everyone?” he asks, finding Lou alone at the tech table.

   

“Not sure,” Lou answers distractedly, typing something into the computer. “They’re all around here somewhere. Be back soon probably.”

   

“Okay, I got a couple things to report on the vic from the neighborhood canvas, but I’ll wait for everyone else and bring you all up to speed,” Danny says and steps up next to Lou to look at the files he’s pulled up.

   

Lou nods and keeps swiping at the screen in front of him. “So, how’s that constant, dull-nausea thing doing?” Lou asks casually, giving him a sidelong glance.

   

Danny furrows his brow for a second then remembers their conversation from last year. “Um… better…” he answers, shifting uncomfortably.

   

“You sure?” Lou probes.

   

“Uh, pretty sure, yeah,” he says, turning to look up at Lou, hands in pockets.

   

“ _Pretty_ sure?” Lou asks, turning to face Danny square-on with an eyebrow cocked.

  

A mild stare-down ensues and Danny breaks first. “Look, he’s not the same guy he was when… when we split up.”

   

“How sure are you about that?”

  

Danny feels his throat tighten. “Why? Do you know something I should know?” he asks, his voice rough with dread.

   

“No... There’s nothing,” Lou tells him quickly. “I just don’t want to see a repeat of last time.”

   

Danny looks at Lou for a moment. “I… I really think he’s changed.”

   

“What about you?”

  

“What about me?”

   

“Have you changed?” Lou asks.

   

A small, sad laugh escapes from Danny unbidden. “That’s sorta the problem with me. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t stop being in love with the son-of-a-bitch.”

   

“Danny…” Lou starts and Danny cringes a little internally when he hears the concern in Lou’s voice.

  

“Look, Lou. It’s hard to explain, but things are… different. He used to be so… afraid… of being with me – of being with another man. But, now he doesn’t care if people know about us.”

   

“Is that why we all just found out that the two of you are back together?” Lou asks dubiously.

  

Danny shakes his head in frustration. “No, that was _my_ decision. He was ready from minute one to tell you and anyone else.”

  

“So it’s you who isn’t really sure,” Lou points out.

   

Danny hesitates. “No, I’m sure. I’m sure I _want_ to be with him,” Danny starts then stops. “But, yes… I was wanting to be sure it would actually work before we went public with it.” Danny finishes with a sigh and hand swiped down his face.

   

Lou doesn’t say anything.

   

“Tell me you don’t see it… that he’s different?” his voice carries a mix of fear and challenge.

   

“Maybe…” Lou acknowledges. “Doesn’t mean I’m not still worried about how this plays out for you.”

   

“Look, Lou, I appreciate your concern, but you don’t need to worry about me. I’m being careful. I didn’t throw myself back into this thing without thinking long and hard about it.”

   

Lou scrutinizes Danny for a moment and then, seeming satisfied, turns back to the tech table.

   

“So, you coming back to 5-0?” Lou asks nonchalantly a few minutes later. He’s not looking at Danny but Danny can tell that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea.

  

“No,” Danny says without hesitation, and Lou’s head turns sharply. “You were right the first time,” Danny continues. “Work and relationships probably aren’t the best mix. And, you know, just in case this does all go south again, I’ll have some breathing room.”

 

“I think that’s the right decision, Danny.”

   

“Yeah, I got that memo,” Danny answers wryly.

   

Lou huffs at him and turns back to the table, pecking at the keyboard. “And just so we’re clear," Lou says casually, looking up at the big screen, "if anything like what happened before happens again, I will bust his jaw this time.”

   

Danny doesn’t have a chance to respond before Steve and Chin are walking back into the bullpen.

    

 

_4: Saturday, February 23, 2018_

  

Lou is standing just inside the moving van catching his breath when Danny makes his way over carrying two bottles of water.

   

“I remember doing this the other way around,” Lou says to Danny and then wipes his sweaty brow with the back of his hand.

   

“So do I,” Danny answers, craning his neck up and passing one of the bottles to Lou.

   

Lou cracks the top off and takes a long drink. “That was a pretty bad day,” he turns around to take stock of how much is left to unload.

   

“Yes, it was,” Danny acknowledges.

   

“I don’t ever want to do that again,” Lou adds, slowly turning back to Danny.

   

“Neither do I,” Danny agrees, squinting up at him.

   

“Are you sure this is a smart thing to do?” he asks, giving Danny a pointed look.

   

Danny takes a deep breath and lets it out noisily, then puts a hand up to shade his eyes as he blinks back at Lou. “Yeah, I think I am.”

   

“Alright then, get your ass up in here and help me with this,” Lou says gesturing at the couch in the back of the truck. “It’s not gonna move itself.”

  

 

_5: August 4, 2018_

 

Danny is standing in his suit – no tie – waiting nervously for the wedding to start when he glances across the yard and sees Lou looking at him and wearing a concerned expression. He walks across the grass to stand next to the bigger man and glances up at him.

   

“You ever going to stop worrying?” Danny asks with some humor in his voice.

   

“Probably not,” Lou admits and Danny nods, looking toward the house, waiting for his fiancé to appear.

   

“Doesn’t mean I’m not happy to be here, though,” Lou adds after a moment.

   

Danny squeezes Lou's arm lightly, and then returns to his spot by the water to wait for Steve.

  

  

_\+ 1: September 4, 2023_

  

“Lemme get that,” Danny says, picking up Lou’s cooler and walking out to his car with him.

   

“I may be retired, but I’m not an invalid,” Lou grumbles, but doesn’t make any real attempt to wrestle the cooler from Danny.

   

“Yeah, well, I don’t wanna spend the _next_ eight years hearing about how you hurt your back because of me again,” Danny chides him.

   

Danny hears Lou grumble under his breath but can’t make out what he’s saying.

   

“So,” Danny says, swinging the cooler into the back of the SUV, “what’s on your busy calendar this week?”

   

Lou’s face lights up with a genuine grin. “Well, I think I might just play some golf.”

   

Danny rolls his eyes. “Now there’s a surprise,” he mutters.

   

“I’m telling you, man, you should have announced your retirement instead of announcing you’re going back to 5-0.”

   

“Yeah, well, maybe when I’m old and decrepit like you, I will,” he retorts and Lou snorts.

   

“Speaking of that…” Danny starts. He’s been waiting all night for Lou to bring it up, but he never has, and Danny’s curiosity is getting the better of him

   

“Yeah?” Lou answers distractedly as he sets some bags next to the cooler.

   

“You don’t have something to say?” Danny challenges, but there’s surprise there as well.

   

Lou turns around and faces Danny. “Why would I have something to say?”

   

“I dunno… seems like you usually do,” Danny squints at him.

   

“I have things to say when I’m concerned for people I care about,” Lou shrugs and closes the back of the rig. “I'm not worried,” he adds, looking pointedly at Danny and then walking to the front of the vehicle and climbing in.

   

Danny stares after him for a moment, then walks up to the driver’s door and scrutinizes Lou through the open window; Lou just blinks back at him, face impassive.

   

“You’re a good friend, Lou,” Danny finally says, and reaches his hand out and through the window.

  

Lou grips his hand in return, then smiles and gives him a small salute. “See you at the Palace bright and early tomorrow morning,” he says turning the ignition. “Oh, wait! No I won’t!” he laughs and puts the car into reverse.

   

“Asshole!” Danny calls after him without venom, as the truck eases out of the driveway.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conversation references:  
> #1: Danny moves out of Steve's house; tltyg, chapter 10 (at the beginning)
> 
> #2: Steve tells the team why he and Danny split up; tltyg, Chapter 11 (about half way through)
> 
> #3: The team finds out Danny and Steve are back together; tltyg, chapter 13 (about half way through)
> 
> #4: Danny and Steve move back in together; tltyg, chapter 13 (about 3/4 way through)
> 
> #5: Danny and Steve get married; tltyg: O&T Comments after chapter 2. (HUH? You ask? Sooooo.... back when I wrote chapter 2 of this fic, someone asked in comments if Steve and Danny were married at that point, and I responded that, yes, I suppose they were, but that I had no real intention of writing a wedding because it would take me at least 10k and I didn't really want to do that [clearly I hadn't conceived of the 80k Going to the Chapel at the point - LOL!], but I wrote a summary of their wedding in my comment response which has pretty much become my headcanon for Steve and Danny getting married in this 'verse. I wouldn't say it's strictly necessary to go read that comment response, but just know that I did sort of write their wedding, and it's referenced in conversation #5.)
> 
> +1: Danny returns to 5-0; tltyg: O&T chapter 6  
> 


	8. Conversations with Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times Mary was worried about Steve, and one time she wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers! 
> 
> So, ‘the love that you gave’ hit, what is for me, a pretty significant milestone recently, so I just wanted to write something to thank you all so much for being so supportive of this 'verse. For everyone who left kudos or the often startlingly-generous comments, please, have this little chapter in heart-felt thanks. I so appreciate your lovely response to that fic that picked away at my brain until I couldn’t hold it in any longer. 
> 
> ElleW asked – twice, I believe - for a timestamp scene where Steve tells Mary about the break-up. I didn’t really think it was a scene I’d ever write because when I thought about it, nothing came to me. But my brain works in mysterious ways I guess, because the other day, suddenly, there it was. So, here’s that – but since I’ve put these two back together, I couldn’t bring myself to leave a chapter all angsty, so, there are a few more conversations with Mary to bring things full circle. And what was supposed to be a little chapter to say thanks, turned into 6k of dialog!
> 
> No beta on this one (which I'm sure you'll be able to tell) because I'm too impatient to wait - got it finished and just wanted to post...

 

__

_ 1.  October 4, 2015 _

 

Danny stands in his new kitchen looking at his phone and sighs.

 

_< wtf is going on with my idiot bother???>_

_< He hasnt answer my calls or texts for 3 days>_

_< plz tell me he didnt get himself killed>_

 

The three texts had come in about an hour ago while he’d been finishing unpacking boxes in the garage and Danny was still trying to decide how to respond – if at all. Honestly, he was pissed off. He did not want to get into a conversation with Mary right now - or ever, for that matter. But he also knew she must be worried sick if she was texting him, and Danny’s not quite so spiteful that he would take out his anger at Steve on Mary, and leave her to worry more.

 

He looks at the tiny screen and his fingers hesitate for another moment before he finally pecks out a response.

 

_< He’s alive. Don’t know why he’s not replying.>_

 

There, maybe that would get her off _his_ back and back onto _Steve’s_. But, just as he sets the phone on the counter, it starts buzzing. _Shit._ He should have known Mary would never leave it at that – she’s always been tenacious – of course she’s calling him now. Leave it to Steve to force him to deal with this. He thinks about not answering the phone, but in the end, he knows Mary probably won’t stop until she gets answers. Steve may have a special skill for ignoring his sister, but as much as Danny wants to just turn the damn thing off, he finds he can’t - must be his Catholic guilt.

 

He sighs deeply and reaches reluctantly for the phone. “Mary,” he answers.

 

“Danny, _what the hell is going on?_ Is something wrong? Is Steve alright?”

 

He can hear the worry in her voice and he pauses, trying to decide what to say – damn, he should have thought of that before he answered - but before he can come up with something, Mary is talking again.

 

“ _Danny_ …?” she sounds near panic now. “Seriously, you’re freaking me out.”

 

“Look… Mary,” he starts, and stops again, rubbing his temples against the dull ache that’s growing there. This is such bullshit; why should _he_ be the one who has to tell Steve’s sister?

 

“Danny, _what?_ Is Steve okay?” she’s practically yelling at him now.

 

Danny leans back against the counter and shakes his head in frustration. “Mary, Steve and I broke up,” he says finally, his voice monotone. “As far as I know he’s alive but I have no idea what he’s doing or why he's not answering you. Though I would assume it’s because he wants to have this conversation with you about as much as I do, so…” he trails off.

 

There’s a moment of stunned silence on the other end of the phone before the inevitable new round of questions. “Danny, what the hell does that mean?”  

 

Danny can feel himself losing it; he’s not ready for this conversation – there’s no way he’s got his emotions anywhere near under control. He tips the phone away from his mouth and quietly mutters, “ _fuck,_ ” before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

 

When he shifts the phone back to his mouth, he gathers all of the self-control he can muster and steels himself. “I think I was pretty clear in what I said there, Mary, and you’re not as dumb as you pretend to be,” Danny bites out.  “But just to clarify, Steve and I are no longer romantically involved and I am no longer at 5-0. Given that, I don’t really know where your brother is and I can’t help you any further so I suggest you keep trying him.”

 

Danny has a sudden flash of his own pure panic when it occurs to him that he doesn’t actually _know_ that Steve is alive. What if he’s not answering Mary because something _has_ happened? No… no, Danny decides. If something had happened to Steve, Chin or Kono or Lou would have told him.

 

“Danny…” Mary starts, but before she can ask any more questions, he cuts her off, because he is _done_ with this.

 

“I’m sorry, Mary, but I really don’t want to have this conversation with you. As far as I know, you’re brother is alive. You’re going to have to get your answers from him. Good luck, and all that – it’s been nice knowing ya. Give Joanie a kiss from me.” Danny disconnects the call and then powers it off so he won’t hear it if she tries to call him again. He feels a twinge of sadness at saying good-bye to her, knowing he won’t likely see Mary or Joanie again. Despite their occasionally querulous relationship, their bickering was always in fun and he really does like Mary – would even probably admit under duress that he’s come to love her as a sister - and he definitely loves that sweet little girl who is like a niece to him. Fuck! Another wave of pure, vicious rage toward Steve rolls over Danny and he hates him all over again for destroying what they had together.

 

He tosses the phone onto the counter next to him and leans forward onto it, closing his eyes again and trying to get his breathing under control. It takes a few minutes, but eventually his breaths even out into something resembling normal, and when they do, he turns to go to the bedroom to unpack another box, leaving the phone behind.

 

5050505050

 

_ 2a. October 6, 2015 _

 

“Mary!” Steve’s eyes are wide with surprise as he opens his door to see his sister standing on the doorstep with his niece wriggling in her arms. “What are you doing here?”

 

Mary pushes past him into the living room. “Well, since you wouldn’t answer any of my calls or texts, I’m here make sure you’re actually alive. Glad to see you are. Thanks for not letting me worry or anything.”

 

“Sorry,” Steve says weakly. “I’ve, uh, I’ve been pretty busy…”

 

“Yeah, I get it. Breaking up with someone and moving them out of your house can take a while,” she glares at him pointedly.

 

Steve gapes at her. “Who told you?”

 

“Who do you think? When you wouldn’t answer any of my calls I was forced to call your ex. Of course, I didn’t _know_ he was your ex, so, that was a little awkward. Thanks for that, too, by the way,” she adds, half-distractedly as Joanie fusses in her arms.

 

Steve closes his eyes as though in pain. “You called Danny?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper.

 

“Of course I called Danny! Jesus, Steve, you are completely off your game if it didn’t occur to you that I would call him if I couldn’t reach you! Seriously – are you that out of it?”

 

Joan, who is clearly unhappy with something, takes this moment to let her complete displeasure known, thrusting her body backward in Mary’s arms and letting loose with an ear-piercing screech.

 

Mary sighs as she struggles to hold her toddler. “She needs to be changed and then is in desperate need of a nap so I’m going to go put her down. Be ready to give me an explanation when I get back,” Mary says and turns to take Joan upstairs.

 

“You guys can have the master,” Steve says quickly, grabbing the suitcase Mary left on the front porch. She turns to look quizzically at him, and Steve finds himself prickling in discomfort. “I, uh, I haven’t been sleeping in there,” he adds as he passes her and starts to climb the stairs, hauling her luggage as he goes.

 

Mary looks worriedly after him and then follows Steve up to the bedroom.

 

\--

 

She finds him sitting on the couch in the living room, instead of down by the water where she expected him to be. She goes to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water, then sets it and the baby monitor on the table next to his beer and sits down in the one remaining chair. She finally take a couple of seconds to really look around the room. It looks different, she realizes; there are pieces of furniture missing from the last time she was here, which makes sense, she supposes. She finally turns her gaze to Steve, but can’t seem to meet her eye, and just stares past her, out the far dining room window at the water.

 

“What happened?” She asks him without preamble, watching as his face contorts into something painful to see.

 

He clears his throat. “What did Danny tell you?” he finally manages.

 

“Only that as far as he knew you were alive and that the two of you broke up. He didn’t give me any details and quite honestly he seemed pretty eager to get off the phone with me.”

 

Steve doesn’t answer right away – just sits staring.

 

“What did you do, Steve?” Mary asks quietly, but gently.

 

Steve turns to finally look at her. “How do you know it was me?” he asks, not angry at her assumption, just curious how she knows he fucked up and not Danny.

 

“Because you wouldn’t answer my calls, which tells me you feel guilty, and he did, which tells me he doesn’t.

 

Steve huffs a little and gives a humorless smile, nodding his head in acknowledgment; Mary would have made a pretty good detective herself.

 

Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly, then faces her again, because if nothing else, Steve McGarrett is not a coward. “I slept with Catherine. Danny walked in on us.”

 

“ _What?_ Steve… _why?_ ”

 

Steve shakes his head, as confused about it two weeks on as she is. “It was stupid. I fucked up…”

 

“Well, _duh!_ I _know_ that. But why would you do that, Steve? I mean, I’ve never seen you as happy as you were since you and Danny got together. You seemed way happier with him than you ever were with Catherine.”

 

“I am!” Steve says passionately. “I was,” he amends with resignation.

 

“Then why would you…”

 

Steve is shaking his head again and squeezing his eyes tightly shut. “I don’t know…”

 

“Come on. You can’t bullshit a bullshitter, Steve. I thought things were over between you and Catherine.”

 

“They were. But she… she showed up here and… I don’t know… one thing led to another…” he can’t bring himself to finish.

 

Mary stares at him, mouth agape. “I don’t get it, Steve. Why would you do that if you and Danny were together? Why would Catherine…?”

 

“She didn’t know.”

 

There’s a pause. “Didn’t know what? About you and Danny?” Mary asks him, confused.

 

Steve shakes his head.

 

“You never told her?” her surprise is obvious.

 

He shakes his head again.

 

 _“Steve, why?”_ Mary asks, incredulous.

 

“I tried,” Steve says, now looking at her plaintively. “So many time, I swear. But every time, I just… the words wouldn’t come out.”

 

Mary’s face hardens. “Jesus, are you _kidding?_ You were _living_ with him! You told me you were _in love_ with him. The whole world could _see_ that you were in love with him. Why wouldn’t you tell Catherine, of all people?” A looks flickers over Mary’s face as realization seems to dawn. “Were you ashamed or something?” he words are clipped and angry.

 

“No, I… I don’t know… maybe…” he concedes, wiping a hand down his face and looking away in discomfort.

 

“God, Steve!” Mary yells at him impatiently. “When are you going to get over Dad’s bullshit and get on with your life already?”

 

“This isn't about Dad…” Steve snaps back at her defensively, but he doesn’t really understand why.

 

“Oh, I know. It’s also your precious, fascistic, bigoted, military-industrial-complex...”

 

 _“Shut up, Mary!”_ he shouts, sitting forward on the couch and looking like he’s about to attack.

 

But Mary’s never been scared or intimidated by her brother. “You know it’s true!” she shouts back at him, thankful that Joan sleeps like a rock when she’s tired. “Jesus, Steve. Between Dad and the Navy, you’re so fucking uptight that you, what? Slept with someone just to prove you were a ‘man’?” she sneers.

 

That hits too close to home and Steve slams back against the cushions, clenching his eyes tightly shut and covering his face with his hands. “Shut up… please just… shut up,” he pleads.

 

Mary stops and looks at her brother; she’s never seen him like this – so completely out of control and vulnerable. “What’re you going to do?” Mary ask after a moment, calmed down a little now and slightly more sympathetic.

 

“Whaddaya mean?” he asks, his voice breaking and filled with defeat. He drops his hands from his face, but doesn’t open his eyes to look at her.

 

“I mean, have you talked to Danny? Is there any way you can fix this?”

 

“No,” he replies flatly.

 

“Steve, maybe…”

 

“No, Mary,” he answers sharply, finally looking back in her direction. “There’s no maybe. Danny made that clear.  This can’t be fixed.”

 

“Have you tried?”

 

Steve nods, his eyes shut tight again. “We talked. It’s over. I fucked it all up. It’s over,” he repeats, choking on the words and gulping down air in what looks to Mary like a last-ditch effort to maintain control.

 

They sit in silence for a long time, Steve with his eyes closed, concentrating on his breathing, and Mary watching him closely. After a few minutes, she gently shifts over to sit next to Steve on the couch and grabs one of his hands in her own. “I’m sorry,” she tells him quietly, stroking his hand with her fingers.

 

And Steve knows that she’s not talking about the things she said, or for yelling, or for showing up unannounced. He knows she’s talking about his _life_ , and how everything in it has been so fucked up for so long because of his father and the Navy.

 

And the depth of sympathy and understanding he hears in her voice is so… real, that it’s painful, but at the same time, it’s such a _relief_. Because there’s actually someone out there who _sees_ and _understands_ what his life has been like, and it’s like the dam finally breaks and he cannot contain his emotions any more, and he doesn’t even know how it happens, but he is suddenly wrapped in Mary’s arms and there are tears flowing down his face and he’s sobbing like he hasn’t since was 15 and his mother died, and Mary’s stroking her fingers through his hair and whispering soothing words…

 

“I’m sorry," she tells him.  "It’s okay… you’ll be okay. I’m so sorry, but you’ll be okay. You’re strong and I love you. You’ll survive. You’ll be okay…”

 

And it’s such a relief, and he loves his sister, and she understands him like no one else in the world ever will, and he pulls her in closer because how did he ever let her get so far away?

 

Eventually, he falls asleep, exhausted from two weeks of stress and anxiety and swimming nonstop and hardly any sleep, and from finally succumbing to his emotions.

 

When he wakes, it’s to Joanie’s sudden, plaintive crying and he looks at his watch to see that its morning already and he’s still on the couch, a blanket now draped over him. He turns his head to see the baby monitor is on the table next to his head and a note from Mary is taped to it, telling him that she won’t be gone long and to please take care of his niece. He sits up and rubs his hands up and down his face a few times, but another holler from Joan gets him moving.

 

“I’m coming, Sweetheart!” he yells as he heads upstairs to get her.

 

He still feels like shit, and Danny’s still gone, but somehow the weight on his shoulders feels just a tiny bit lighter.

 

 

5050505050

 

_ 2b. October 7, 2015 _

 

Danny opens his door, and stops abruptly; it is too fucking early in the morning to have to face Mary McGarrett on his stoop.

 

“So, are you going to invite me in?” Mary asks after a tense moment of silence. “It’s kinda rude to leave people standing on your doorstep,” she tries to make it sound snarky and light – like their usual banter - but the words hang awkwardly.

 

Danny squints at her. “It’s also kinda rude to show up at someone’s house uninvited,” Danny snaps, not quite able to keep the anger at bay, and not at all moving to let her inside.

 

“ _Please,_ Danny,” she asks softly after a beat, all hint of snark gone from her voice

 

Danny looks past her, over her shoulder for a minute, indecisive. He’s not mad at Mary; she didn’t do anything wrong. But he knows why she’s here and he isn’t particularly in the mood to hear her plead Steve’s case. But God help him, his mother raised him to be polite, so he finally steps aside and opens the door wider so she can slip past him into the room.

 

“Nice place,” she says after looking around for a few seconds. “It has good energy.”

 

“Are you here to feng shui my house, because I think I’m good. My bed faces east and everything.”

 

“I think you probably know why I’m here.”

 

“No,” Danny tells her firmly, shaking his head. “You can turn around right now because there’s nothing you can say that I want to hear.”

 

“Danny, please, Steve feels…”

 

“ _Fuck Steve!_ ” he yells. “And fuck _you_ for coming here to defend him!” he finishes, jabbing his finger in her face.

 

Mary flinches at the rage in his voice.

 

“Did he tell you what he did?” Danny grits out through clenched teeth.

 

Mary nods wordlessly.

 

“And you have the nerve to come here and tell me how _Steve feels?_ What about _me_ , Mary? _Huh?_ What about how _I_ feel? Do you know what that was like? _Do you?_ I walked in and saw them…” Danny stops, the words seemingly stuck in his throat. “ _FUCKING_ … in our bed. In _our_ bed! Do you have any idea how painful that was? Every time I close my eyes, I see them… I _hear_ them! Christ, it makes me sick just thinking about it… I thought your brother was _committed_ to us. I thought that _was it_ for me – for _both_ of us. And he threw that away for _some pussy!_ ” Danny says viciously.

 

“Danny, he knows he screwed up,” she rushes to say. “He gets it – 100%. I’ve just… I’ve never seen him so… defeated… Can’t you just…”

 

 _"Do NOT put this on me!”_ Danny roars at her. “Steve’s the one who did this. _He_ ruined what we had.   It’s broken and, _no_ , it _can’t_ be fixed. Now, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” he tells her with finality and yanks the front door open.

 

“Danny,” she starts plaintively.

 

Danny groans in frustration, closing his eyes and banging his head against the edge of the door. “What?” he snaps, but sounding far less angry now, and far more weary.

 

When she doesn’t respond, he opens his eyes to sees silent tears tracking down her face.

 

“Please don’t,” Danny implores her, because he knows that if she’s crying, he’s not going to be able to hold on for long himself. “Please don’t do that. It’s not fair…”

 

“I’m sorry. It’s just… you’re like my… brother from another mother, you know?” she snorts a little through her tears at that. “I just feel like… I’m never gonna see you again, am I? And Joanie…” she trails off, the tears flowing heavier now.

 

Danny wants to reach out to her - to pull her into a tight embrace – because it’s true; they’ve become like family to each other. But he can’t. He knows he can’t because if he does, he knows he will completely lose any shred of self-control that he has left. So he hardens his heart and swings the door open further. “I’m sorry about that part, Mary. I sincerely am. But this is your brother’s fault, not mine. And I really need you to leave now.” He stands aside, and resolutely doesn’t not watch her as she ducks past him and walks out of his house.

 

Later, he pulls out his phone and deletes every picture he has of Mary and Joan, because looking at their smiling faces is just another painful reminder of everything he’s lost.

 

5050505050

 

_ 3.  January 4, 2017 _

 

“Hey, big brother,” Mary’s grins as her face appears along with Joanie’s on Steve’s computer.

 

“Hey! Hi, Joanie! How’re you doing, Sweetheart?” Steve grins at his niece.

 

“Uncle Steve!” she shouts gleefully.

 

“She wanted to call and tell you thank you for the gifts, didn’t you, Joanie?” Mary prompts her.

 

“Thank you, Uncle Steve!” Joan recites dutifully.

 

“You’re welcome, Sweetie,” Steve waves and makes a silly face and Joan giggles at him. “So, how was the cruise? How’re Aunt Deb and Leonard doing?” he asks, shifting his glance to Mary.

 

“Down!” Joan demands, and Mary sets the toddler on the floor; Steve sees her scamper over to a pile of toys.

 

“It was great. The weather was great, the food was great, Christmas and New Years on a cruise ship were great,” she tells him.

 

Steve furrows his brow. “Aunt Deb?” he asks, already pretty sure he knows what she's going to say.

 

“Not so great,” she shrugs, then looks up at him with sad eyes. “I don’t think it will be much longer,” she says softly.

 

Steve nods; they both knew this was coming.

 

Mary blows out a loud breath and then forces a smile onto her face. “How about you? How was Christmas?”

 

“It was nice,” he smiles back at her. “I had dinner with Lou and his family.”

 

“And New Year’s?”

 

“Yeah, it was fine. I didn’t do much.”

 

Mary snorts. “Yeah, not much except come out of the closet.”

 

“Oh, you saw that, huh?” Steve says, with no trace of discomfort.

 

“Well, _yeah._ You posted it on Facebook, Steve, so I assume you meant for me and the entire world to see it.”

 

Steve huffs. “Yeah…”

 

“So how long have you been planning that?” she asks him.

 

“Not long. I got to thinking after we talked at Thanksgiving. I guess you were right about some things.”

 

“’Bout time you started to appreciate my genius,” she gloats.

 

Steve laughs and Mary joins in for a second before she turns serious.

 

“Hey, you know, Dad would be proud of you.”

 

“Hmmph. You think so?” Steve asks, sounding dubious.

 

“You know, even if he was still uncomfortable about the gay thing... Standing up for who you are, for what you believe in… that meant something to Dad, no matter what. I _know_ he’d be proud of you for that.”

 

Steve huffs softly. “Thanks, Mare,” he tells her after a beat.

 

Mary ignores that and looks over to where Joan is playing on the floor. “Have you talked to Danny,” she asks nonchalantly, not looking away from her daughter.

 

“No, Mary, I haven’t talked to Danny.” He pretends at exasperation, but she can tell he’s not really annoyed.

 

Mary turns back to the computer and shrugs. “I just thought maybe…” she has a hopeful expression on her face.

 

“Mary,” Steve cuts her off, but not angrily, more like… indulgently. “I didn’t write that post for Danny. That’s over and done. I wrote it for myself and no one else.”

 

She pauses for a moment, searching her brother’s face for any signs of distress. “That’s good, Steve,” she finally says, apparently satisfied.

 

“It is good,” Steve agrees, smiling a little and nodding his head.

 

She squints at him penetratingly and he squirm a little under her scrutiny. “You’ve changed,” she finally declares.

 

Steve shrugs. “Yeah, I guess so. But, that’s good, right? I mean, I needed to change.”

 

“ _I’m_ proud of you, Steve,” Mary says, genuinely.  

 

Steve finds himself inexplicably blushing and his eyes skitter away and back. “So,” he clears his throat. “When are you and my beautiful niece going to come visit?” he asks her, signally the end of that conversation.

 

“I’m not sure,” she answers, allowing him to end the discussion. “But I’ll try to call you from the airport.”

 

“You know, Mare, a little advance notice would be nice…”

 

Mary gives him a mischievous smile. “See you soon, big brother,” she says and then pointedly takes her finger and cuts the connection.

 

Steve sighs and then laughs a little, shaking his head as he closes the laptop.

 

5050505050

 

_ 4.  April 8, 2017 _

 

_Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding…._

 

Steve jerks the door open, tense and ready for trouble, and stops in surprise when he sees his sister standing on the stoop with Joan in her arms.

 

“What the hell, Steve! Why doesn’t my key work?” Mary demands and pushes her way past him into the living room.

 

“I had to change the locks. I’ll get you a new key,” he tells her, turning as she walks past him. The general contractor who’d done the work on the house had lost his key, and Steve had to have new locks put in about a month ago.

 

Joan is making grabby hands and reaching out for her Uncle Steve, and so Mary passes the little girl over and then turns and looks around, confused; the room does not look familiar at all.   “What…?” she starts, but stops suddenly when she sees another person on the stairs.

 

“Hi, Mary,” she hears Danny say in greeting, a slightly uncomfortable smile on his face.

 

“Uh, hi…” she says, clearly surprised, and shoots a look over at Steve, who is decidedly abashed.

 

Danny moves down the rest of the stairs and grabs his keys and phone off the coffee table. “I was just leaving. Good to, uh, good to see you again, Mary,” he tells her, then turns slightly to Steve. “Hey, beautiful,” he croons to Joan as he cups her head in his hand, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. She smiles shyly and turns her face into Steve’s neck.

 

“I’ll talk to you later?” Danny asks, glancing between Steve and his sister.

 

“Yeah… yeah, later,” Steve confirms.

 

Mary, Joan and Steve all watch him walk quickly over to the door and make a hasty exit, closing the door quietly behind himself, then Mary turns to face Steve.

 

“Soooo,” Mary, says grinning like a hyena. “Are you guys like… surf buddies again?”

 

Steve rolls his eyes and heads toward the kitchen to get his niece something suitably sugary to eat, because if Mary’s going to make him suffer, he’s going to retaliate as best he can. “Something like that,” he says, trying to sound as blasé as possible.

 

“Something like that?” Mary sputters. “You want to explain that a little more, please?”

 

Steve sticks his head into the freezer where Mary can’t see him grinning. “Hey, Joanie, you want some triple fudge ice cream?”

 

5050505050

 

_ 5.  November 23, 2017 _

 

Mary is just walking down stairs from putting Joan to bed when she sees Danny walk into the kitchen with a handful of glasses. She’s on her way in to help with the last of the clean-up but stops short as she finds herself witnessing the conversation going on inside.

 

_“So, Danno… whaddaya say we get married?” Steve asks, then looks down at Grace for approval._

_Grace squeals with excitement, a throwback to her younger days that they rarely hear anymore. “_ _YES!_ _” she yells._

_“_ _NO,_ _” Danny answers, glaring at Steve._

_“Awww!” Grace complains, clearly disappointed._

_“And_ _not fair,_ _McGarrett – using my daughter as a pawn in your game!” Danny says, pointing accusingly at Steve._

_“All’s fair in love and war, Danno,” Steve answers with an impish grin._

_“Yeah, Danno!” Grace chimes in, and Steve bends to kiss her conspiratorially on the head again._

_Danny makes a quick retreat..._

 

... and Mary darts the other way and into the study – she’s not really sure why – it’s not like it seemed to be a particularly private conversation since Grace was there as well – she just somehow feels uncomfortable.

 

As she waits a while for the coast to be clear, she gets distracted looking around her father’s old study. Like nearly every other room in the house, Steve has done some significant remodeling in here; the only thing that looks familiar is the built-in bookshelf against the far wall. Mary wanders over to it and glances at the books, but even these are mostly new and include a collection of what must be Danny’s and even Grace’s books, along with Steve’s. The only one she recognizes as something that had been John McGarrett’s is the old dictionary, stashed in the corner on the top shelf. Mary reaches up and pulls it down, looking at it a little ruefully. She hadn’t actively thought about this book in years, until Steve had brought it up the previous Thanksgiving. She huffs a little and cracks it open, thinking to look for some of the words her father had made her write, but she freezes her movement when she sees the writing in the margins of the page she opened to. She flips through the book and sees the words scrawled on nearly every page in nearly every margin, and when she finally stops and looks closely, she reads the words written there:

 

                _Honor: Honesty, fairness or integrity of ones beliefs or actions_

 

She remembers the words from when Steve recited them to her last fall by the pool in Las Vegas, and her throat gets tight as she looks at the evidence of her brother’s anguish.

 

“Hey,” Steve says, startling her, and she turns around to see him standing a couple steps away. “Sorry, I thought you heard me coming.”

 

“Uh, no, I… What is this?” Mary asks, looking at him with wide, concerned eyes.

 

He glances down at the book in her hands, then walks the last couple of steps over to her and gently takes the dictionary out of her hands. He flips through a few pages of it himself, looking thoughtful.

 

“Penance?” he answers lightly, shifting his gaze back up at her.

 

“Um, that’s not penance, Steve, that’s full-on mental illness.”

 

Steve barks a laugh, and closes the book, slotting it back into its spot high on the shelf. Then he turns back to Mary, grabs her upper arms and bends in to kiss her forehead. “I’m really glad you and Joanie came,” he says, as though they weren’t just talking about something else.

 

“Steve,” Mary persists. “Seriously, what was that? Are you okay?”

 

Steve just smiles at her. “I’m great, Mary. Really. I promise.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Look, that was just something I did to try to… to try to work things out in my head - like meditation or something. But in case you’re worried, I’ve been done with that since last year – since we talked at Aunt Deb’s, actually.”

 

“Then why keep it?”

 

Steve shrugs. “As a reminder, I guess.”

 

“A reminder of what? Of your mistakes?” she probes, not liking the sound of that.

 

“No, actually. More like… a reminder of how far I’ve come,” he answers, and smiles at her. “And maybe as a reminder that my little sister was right and I don’t need Dad to tell me how to live my life anymore.”

 

“Okay,” Mary says slowly, and nods thoughtfully, apparently satisfied.  She peruses the other books on the shelf and a moment later, she turns back to Steve. “So, what was that in the kitchen before?”

 

“Whaddaya mean?”

 

“Just a little while ago. It sounded like you asked Danny to marry you.”

 

“Oh, yeah. I did,” Steve nods. “I ask him every couple of weeks. So far, he’s said no.”

 

“You actually sound like you’re fine with that.”

 

“That’s because I am,” He pulls her into a hug and kisses the side of her head. “Listen, thanks for your concern, Mare, but you really don’t need to worry,” he says, then releases her with a smile.

 

Mary gives him a discerning look. “I just want you to be happy, Steve. Is Danny jerking you around?”

 

“I am happy, Mary. And, _no_ , Danny is not jerking me around. Look. A while ago, Danny and I got on the conversation of marriage somehow, and he said maybe he never wanted to get married again.”

 

“Because he doesn’t trust you?”

 

“I don’t know. I hope not, but that might be part of it. And if it is, that’s my cross to bear. But a lot of it’s wrapped up in Rachel, too. He’s just not sure he ever wants to do that again – with anyone.”

 

“Why do you keep asking him?”

 

“I don’t know,” Steve shrugs. “I guess to remind him that I’m still here and I’m committed to us, no matter if we get married or not. I’m never gonna stop asking, but I’m not upset when he says no. And who knows,” he smiles. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and one of these days he’ll say yes.”

 

5050505050

 

_ +1. August 4, 2018 _

 

Steve sees Mary’s reflection in the mirror as he finishes tying the tie to his Dress Blues. He smiles back at her as he sees her approach him from behind.

 

He turns toward her and she reaches up to fiddle with the tie, straightening it and smoothing down the lapels on his jacket. When he looks in her eyes, he can see they’re welling, and his own eyes immediately start to prickle. Steve pulls her into a tight embrace and tucks his chin over her shoulder.  

 

“I’m so happy for you,” she manages to say, and squeezes him even tighter.  

 

“Thank you,” he whispers, surprised at how his own voice quavers.

 

After a moment, she pulls back, laughing a little and wiping her eyes. “You made me mess up my make-up,” she says and bats his arm in retaliation.

 

“Sorry,” he wipes some moisture from her face with his thumb. “You look beautiful anyway,” he adds.

 

“And you look happy,” she answers, sliding her hand down his cheek.

 

Steve closes his eyes and breathes in deeply, then opens his eyes again, a radiant smile lighting his face. “That’s because I am,” he tells her.

 

“Well, then, come on. There’s a guy out there who loves you and is waiting to marry you.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh! Almost all dialog is hard!
> 
> Like last chapter, here are references to these conversations if anyone is interested.
> 
> #1. Danny moves into his new house; tltyg, Chapter 10 (at the beginning)  
> #2a. ditto  
> #2b. ditto  
> #3. Shortly after Steve posts his letter on Facebook; tltyg, Chapter 12 (about 3/4 through)  
> #4. After they get back together; tltyg, Chapter 13 (about 3/4 through)  
> #5. Thanksgiving, after they get back together; tltyg, Chapter 13 (about 4/5 through)  
> +1. Danny and Steve get married; tltyg: O&T Comments after chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

> I always love to hear your thoughts - and thanks for reading!


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